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The Top 7... stupid plans for world conquest

When brilliant tactical masterminds aren't

Words: on January 11, 2010
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42 comments

  • DoctorCrazy - January 12, 2010 1:55 a.m.

    I lol'd at the Sonic, Gears, and Street Fighter pictures.

  • Cwf2008 - January 12, 2010 1:54 a.m.

    "Had Shepard’s plan not been stopped (we assume it was) by Price and Soap, there would have been only one outcome. Crispy dead everyone. But you know, as long as everyone was patriotically crispy and dead, right?" Damn right! Who cares that 310 million people were just genocidally murdered, as long as they died patriots!

  • Defguru7777 - January 12, 2010 1:53 a.m.

    Was that really the Enclave's plan? I thought Eden was the only one who wanted to wipe out all irradiated humans. Colonel Autumn didn't want to do it. In Gears of War: Jacinto's Remnant, the Locust were on the verge of reaching Jacinto in a matter of weeks. They were stealing human tech and weapons. No governments would unite with the COG to fight humanity's common enemy. Prescott used the Hammer of Dawn to deny assets to the Locust. He couldn't give too much of advanced warning to Sera's population because it risked the Locust retreating underground before it was too late. Destroying Sera saved humanity, allowing it to fight for fifteen years instead of a few weeks. And a large amount of the Locust forces were above ground at the time. Sorry. Big Gears nerd, too.

  • Fathios - January 12, 2010 1:39 a.m.

    As a big Fallout fan, as well as someone who tends to over-analyze fiction, I'm surprised that I didn't realize who poorly thought-out the Enclave's plans were. Thanks for pointing that out...it's still not going to diminish my enjoyment of that game, of course =)

  • JustTheBoBreaker - January 12, 2010 1:24 a.m.

    Shredder can't even steal a statue without getting beat up by a few turtles.

  • JackSkellingtonsSkin - January 12, 2010 12:57 a.m.

    "The replacement plan was to adapt the rediscovered FEV virus (created by the military before the war and responsible for the Super Mutants) into a toxin with which to wipe out all irradiated citizens of the USA and create a new world order of pure humans." Is that what the enclave were doing. I didn't pick that up at all from Fallout 3. I thought you just had to shoot them.

  • Yeager1122 - January 12, 2010 12:21 a.m.

    The final fantasy one was hilarious "christ ill beinsne by lunchtime" lmao.

  • Sebastian16 - January 12, 2010 12:16 a.m.

    I laughed sooooooooooooooooooo damn hard at the MW2 bit. I admire you fellas for ripping on the story whenever you can, very much appreciated.

  • Silvermech - January 12, 2010 12:09 a.m.

    Well, hardly anything makes sense in video games. Just take a look at Cloud's ridiculously large sword, and Sephiroth's really long sword.

  • Cyberninja - January 11, 2010 11:40 p.m.

    the only reason i can think of as why to steal the statue of liberty would be to show that america is now under your control and i think it was set up so that when the people in the time zones killed the ninja turtles they could help rule the world

  • kerfuffled_brizzle792 - January 11, 2010 10:04 p.m.

    As soon as I saw the title I new MW2 would be in here.

  • LordsOfTechno - January 11, 2010 9:24 p.m.

    Did anyone else sing the line "They’re overground, underground, dismembering free." along with the Wombles theme? Maybe it was just me who noticed the reference...

  • michaelmcc827 - January 11, 2010 9:02 p.m.

    Eh, I was hoping for a GI Joe tie-in, but it IS the uk, so w/e. article was good. recaptcha: relatively immoral

  • Axcleblade - January 11, 2010 8:41 p.m.

    The hedgehog broke first. Just letting you know.

  • garnsr - January 11, 2010 8:34 p.m.

    The title for the article is great, but then the article isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. I can't think of other, more stupid plans right now, but it seems like I must have come across a few in the last 30 years. Robotnik and Seth seem to be the stupidest here, to me.

  • matt588 - January 11, 2010 8:19 p.m.

    kinda figured MW2 would be on here, but does that really count as a plan for world conquest? Besides, how can we take another country(or two or three) if we can't even hold the capitol without blowing it to bits?( sounds like Sera)

  • mastersword369 - January 11, 2010 8:16 p.m.

    Well it worked for MW2, that gameplay is great.

  • Eenieboy - January 11, 2010 7:27 p.m.

    It really seems game designers gloss over the whole "plot making sense" thing in order to concentrate on gameplay and other general amazingness these days... in fact always

  • oryandymackie - January 11, 2010 7:19 p.m.

    Andrew Ryan threw the toys out of the proverbial pram when you threatened to destroy his soggy city - maybe he would have made a good dictator?

  • THEBIGJ3 - January 11, 2010 6:54 p.m.

    But anyway, I'm glad Ultemecia made it onto this list, I always thought her conquest idea was stupid!

Showing 21-40 of 42 comments

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