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The Top 7... Ridiculous in-game vehicles

We were OK with the F1 car in Super Runabout. We chuckled at the VW-alike hippy van in San Andreas. But there are some in-game vehicles that we just have to call out as being utterly ridiculous.

In this Top 7, we've got something for everyone. From the designed-to-be-mad, through intentionally daft to the oh-my-god-what-were-they-thinking, it's all here.

So sit down, strap in and try not to let anyone see that it's you in the driver's seat. We're taking a road trip to Daftsville.


7) Simpsons Road Rage: The Homer

Ah, the Homer. This eponymous creation of one Homer Simpson is the quintessential ridiculous vehicle. And yet, if we're honest, we kinda wish we had one. But maybe in a different colour. And cheaper than $82,000. Just look at its timeless design:

In the game, it's a bonus unlockable and has been slightly modified - the rear-view mirror's missing for a start and the interior doesn't appear to be fitted with shag carpeting - but it's still the four-wheeled definition of ridiculous.

How to get it: Pay $82,000 to one Herb Powell. Or alternatively complete all 10 missions with Homer in Simpsons Road Rage to unlock it.

Why it's ridiculous: Bubble domes (which never go out of fashion), oversized tail fins... oh, and the little ball on the aerial so you can find it in a car park. It's on every car. D'oh indeed.


6) Crazy Taxi: Rickshaw

They say that women don't grow muscles with exercise, instead simply becoming more and more toned. By that thinking, Gena here from Crazy Taxi must have calf muscles hewn from granite after using this thing to do her rounds.

But what about controlling this monstrosity? Is it just a reskin? Definitely not. It's actually got much better acceleration than the standard taxi, although controlling crazy drifts is much harder as the bike swings round very quickly. It does turn and stop on a dime, though, so pick-ups are much easier. Want to see it in action? Oh go on then:

How to get it: 'Borrow' you little sister's bike and forcibly attach it to one half of your parents' garden shed. Or press L+R, L+R, L+R, and A on Driver Select screen of Crazy Taxi on Dreamcast.

Why it's ridiculous: You're doing 100mph using only pedal propulsion, still able to knock over cars and lorries like dominoes and trying to pass it off as a legitimate taxi business? Get out of town.


5) Manx TT Superbike: Sheep

This cheat was in both the arcade game and its Sega Saturn conversion and replaces your bike with an animated sheep. And no, this isn't Wales – it's the Isle of Man. We like the way the sheep bleat if you bump into them. Oh, and the way the other racers don't even have riders. They're just bigger sheep.



How to get it: In the unlikely event you find an arcade cabinet of Manx TT in the wild (we played it last Christmas, so you never know), then you too can enjoy sheep-fuelled racing mayhem. At the transmission select screen, press gear up, gear up, gear down, gear down, lean left, lean right (and stay there), hold the brake in and then accelerate. If you did it right, you'll hear a "baaah" noise.

Why it's ridiculous: Sheep can't run at 150mph. And they certainly don't baah at a constant pitch like an engine. And it's not as if it could ever happen in real life, is it?

Oh. Well... the next one definitely couldn't...

Topics

Top 7

35 comments

  • RandyChimp - November 23, 2009 12:02 p.m.

    first I'd buy the homer! It's awesome!
  • wrapdump - November 23, 2009 1:57 p.m.

    Alas, "vehicles" that should have made this list are: The lawnmower in Metropolis Street Racer, and the cow in Super Skidmarks on the megadrive, I remember it was always the centrepiece of the adverts.
  • oryandymackie - November 23, 2009 2:21 p.m.

    What about the llama in Downhill Domination? I swear that game was an under-rated classic of our time, and I pity all you fools who didn't play it and will never play it, although most of you idiots still have a PS2 right? RandyChimp, nobody cares
  • luigifan13 - November 23, 2009 3:16 p.m.

    I actually have the episode of The Simpsons where the Homer was invented on dvd. Can you belive it drove a car companie out of business?
  • luigifan13 - November 23, 2009 3:20 p.m.

    btw to all those people who don't know. Herb Powell is Homer's Older Half brother from Season 2 of The Simpsons
  • GrenadeSpamAndSausages - November 23, 2009 7:15 p.m.

    Well done RandyChimp you managed to read the first two lines of the article and shout first, your inteligance astounds us. Ok, enough sarcasm. Robot frog with a tambourine sounds like something you should be able to play on wii music or whatever the hell it was called (does anybody care?) I would also totaly by the homer it's the only car that both repulses and blinds people!
  • jackthemenace - November 23, 2009 8:38 p.m.

    seventh...? and i REALLY want one of the homermobiles from road rage in real life! and i'd also still drive the frog car thing. and now, to go build one...
  • Link555 - November 23, 2009 8:52 p.m.

    these are indeed ridiculous vechicles, I mean a pipe and a metal frog with a tambourine attached to it!
  • Link555 - November 23, 2009 8:55 p.m.

    Am I the only one who would pay the full amount for the homer
  • waynski1457 - November 23, 2009 9:59 p.m.

    There will always be a special place in my heart for NFS II's T-Rex. I was massive, hard to drive, and tipped over easily. But, you got to drive a T-Rex, so it was very, very awesome.
  • revrock - November 23, 2009 10:27 p.m.

    Ahh... Excitebots! Please go buy it so they make more of these games. It's not too late yet!
  • Drumdoctor - November 23, 2009 10:29 p.m.

    I actually liked the pipe car. It may be stupid, but it handled well and had good speed.
  • currie - November 23, 2009 10:33 p.m.

    Downhill domination is one of THE best PS2 games... sigh. LLama ftw! Recaptcha: BS Homies lolwut?
  • GamesRadarButtercup - November 23, 2009 10:55 p.m.

    My name is Buttercup and I approve of the Daytona USA horse. - B.B.
  • Felixthecat - November 23, 2009 11:26 p.m.

    The Homer is the best vehicle in the Simpsons Hit & Run next to the Invisible car and the Zombie car. I played it...A LOT. Great article BTW.
  • Skykid - November 23, 2009 11:31 p.m.

    WTF!? WTF!? WTF!? WTF!? Get those abominations away from me! Why are those even considered rides? Those are not vehicles, those are s*** with wheels.
  • Conman93 - November 24, 2009 12:09 a.m.

    @ felixthecat I totally agree. It was very easy to use and didnt go too fast, unlike the rocket car
  • GamesRadarCharlieBarratt - November 24, 2009 12:52 a.m.

    Buttercup?! I thought we turned you into delicious, delicious glue!
  • GameManiac - November 24, 2009 12:52 a.m.

    I'm actually a big car fanatic (thank you Need for Speed and Gran Turismo!), so I was naturally drawn to this article. I hope no frogs were harmed in the making of this article.
  • Cyberninja - November 24, 2009 1:10 a.m.

    @revrock wre ok they just relesed a new one on wiiware

Showing 1-20 of 35 comments

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