The Top 7... impractical characters

When the world needs saving, don't rely on these ill-prepared nutjobs

1. Apharmd (Virtual On: Oratorio Tangram)
Dreamcast | 2000

Giant robots blasting the crap out of other giant robots is a solid gold idea. It's been done to death, but no matter how many times the concept gets shoveled out, we'll be ready to play. What's not so great is when people try to dress said robots.

Apharmd here is a 50-foot-tall fighting robot... in camo pants. Camouflage helps things blend in with their surroundings. What possible environment could a towering, gun blasting robot use to hide? Oh, sorry, didn't see you there, you five story-tall bastard. We also didn't hear your van-sized gears and motors whirring from miles away. Oh wait, no, we did hear and see all that, because you're as big as King freaking Kong.

You could argue that he's not wearing pants, that it's just a paint job designed to intimidate the other robots. Even if that's true, you don't see the armed forces painting aircraft carriers and B-52s in jungle camo. It's just plain silly. And, on top of everything else, Apharmd has a robot buzz cut. Come on.

For more time-wasting Top 7 lists, with everything from girl-on-girl kisses to the best Mario spin-offs, click here.

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