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The Top 7… Games that kicked America’s ass

Despite being involved in dozens of wars over its 200 years of life, America has never had to suffer a true invasion. Why, the very thought! Who could amass an army so massive or execute a plan so flawlessly that the entire US of A would know defeat? The truth is, it’s not as impossible as we’d like to think, and the imagery of our own cities under siege is one of the easiest ways movies and games can get our American blood a-burnin’.


 

So, seeing as we’ve already covered fireworks and rabidly patriotic games, we figured we’d celebrate this Fourth of July with a list of games where America gets its ass kicked… and then naturally makes a last minute comeback to win the day.


7 - World in Conflict

How bad did they get us? Dude, so bad, I mean look at that box art, Lady Liberty hasn’t looked that tore up since Planet of the Apes. World in Conflict’s story is one of them highfalutin “Alternate History” type dealies that posits a 1989 in which the Commie Soviet Union decides to kick America’s ass instead of just rolling over and accepting the beauty of Coca-Cola and McDonalds. They attack via a surprise invasion of Seattle, effectively preventing both Starbucks and Grunge music from ever taking off. After catching us with our drawers around our ankles, the National Guard has to turn tail and evacuate the city, lest they be subjected to them dirty Red’s weird ideas about class equality and the boo-jah-wah-zee.

Makin matters even stickier is the fact they got secret Soviet Spetsnaz soldiers lurkin’ in New York, who plan on attacking the city with chemical weapons. The real kicker though? They’ve got the chemical weapons stashed inside the Statue of Liberty. Man that’s messed up, even for them low down Ruskies.


 
Above: These tears don't fear

Did we proudly stand up and defend her? You bet your ass we did. A squad of rough and ready Rangers takes back Liberty Island from the Commies and saves the day on the East Coast. Things are a bit more hectic back in Seattle though, and to prevent those yellow bellied Lenin lovers from pushing any deeper into the good ol’ US of A, the Army is left with only one option: Let the disgraced Captain Bannon redeem himself by delaying the Russians just long enough to drop a big ole tactical nuclear strike on all of them. Thanks for the Cher-“noble” sacrifice Captain Bannon, this Bud’s for you.


6 - Freedom Fighters

How bad did they get us? In yet another piece of revisionist gaming, the Soviet Union drops the world’s first atomic bomb – not Hiroshima or Nagasaki, but on Berlin. With its might unquestioned, the USSR balloons across the globe, usurping Great Britain and several other countries. Eventually the Red Army sets its eyes on the US, invades New York City (leave the poor place alone!) and proceeds to stomp its way across the country – unless a rag tag group of freedom fighters can stop ‘em!


Above: Better dead than Red 

Did we proudly stand up and defend her? You bet your buck o’ five we did. Even after Mr Jones, one of the resistance’s key informants, reveals himself as the friggin’ head of the KGB, the remaining US fighters rearm, reload, regroup, man up, cowboy up and Hulk out until they retake Governor’s Island and push the Commies back to the Mother Tundra. How exactly that frees the rest of the country isn’t clear; maybe they all just gave up? Either way, ‘Murca rises to the occasion and wins the day.

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54 comments

  • GringoStar - July 4, 2011 4:17 p.m.

    As much as people were nagging on Home Front, I actually thought it was a great game with a very cryptic story line. They made it feel almost too realistic with faux news casts and such. The game did have it's faults but I would definitely like to see a continuation with this game.
  • Antistaenemyofthedaleks - July 4, 2011 4:21 p.m.

    gOOD TOP 7 guys looking forward to most likely hearing about it on talkradar
  • Antistaenemyofthedaleks - July 4, 2011 4:22 p.m.

    Good top 7 looking forawrd to most likely hearing about it on Talkradar
  • AndIThoughtHeSmelledLikePizzaOnTheOutside - July 4, 2011 4:30 p.m.

    There were a few surprises here. I have found memories of the first two, mostly because I love this premise. Happy Independence Day! Oh ya, aso looking forward to Talkradar.
  • Plan10FromOuterSpace - July 4, 2011 5:03 p.m.

    no zombie titles, im sure America has fallen to the living dead a few times, Left 4 Dead and Dead Rising for instance?
  • Yarnboy - July 4, 2011 5:04 p.m.

    Am I missing Fallout 3? It wasn't technically in the game itself, but the after effects were pretty heavy.
  • FOZ - July 4, 2011 5:07 p.m.

    The ending of Freedom Fighters said they DIDN'T stop the Russians, not even close. That's why the game needs a goddamn sequel already. And Fallout 3 was a worldwide nuclear war. Every country was devastated, you just only ever see America in Fallout games.
  • RoeTaKa - July 4, 2011 5:13 p.m.

    FromSoftware can do no wrong
  • profile0000 - July 4, 2011 5:19 p.m.

    Excellent Top 7. A great idea and it looks like someone had a fun time actually writing the entries. Happy 4th, America.
  • Xtapolapopotamus - July 4, 2011 5:28 p.m.

    The writing in this Top 7 is some of my favorite in any Top 7. Can't wait to hear you guys (with full 'Murcan accents) talking about it on TalkRadar.
  • kyle94 - July 4, 2011 5:36 p.m.

    I agree, Freedom Fighters NEEDS a sequel. The ending was pretty much "Wooo, we won!", with the main character saying "We didn't win. They'll be back, and with bigger guns." and then they did a kegstand. Or maybe I'm remembering incorrectly.
  • terdferguson - July 4, 2011 5:38 p.m.

    I love World In Conflict so much. The first time I ever got sad playing a video game was when Bannon sacrificed himself.
  • LoudestCannon - July 4, 2011 5:45 p.m.

    @FOZ I'm glad I am not the only one holding out hope for a Freedom Fighters sequel. Easily one of my favorite games from the last console generation.
  • Mortified_Cow - July 4, 2011 6:09 p.m.

    Damn straight Freedom Fighters!!! I love that game.
  • Stabby_Joe - July 4, 2011 6:16 p.m.

    The Chimera are the only one on the list who still succeed to an extent. Hmmm, should get President Michael Wilson involved then. And Fallout shouldn't be on this list since China can't claim to have "kicked ass" when its implied in the game that they came off worse.
  • Rapids16 - July 4, 2011 6:16 p.m.

    What about fallout?
  • kairab - July 4, 2011 6:28 p.m.

    i love all these games :)
  • BackwaterRifle - July 4, 2011 6:37 p.m.

    In Fallout the entire world got it's ass kicked, so it belongs off the list.
  • Yarnboy - July 4, 2011 7:03 p.m.

    Then wouldn't Resistance also be disqualified? I mean, Chimera ATE the whole world, so no other country came out better. Shouldn't it be more important that Fallout's America got their ass handed to them than it is who handed their ass to them?
  • Jdub9064 - July 4, 2011 7:06 p.m.

    I remember playing the japanese demo of metal wolf chaos on a OXM disc a while back and thinking why did this game never got an NA release because it just balls out mech action that just screams America!

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