The Top 7… Games that kicked America’s ass

They invade our space and we fall back. This far, no further! The line must be drawn here!

Despite being involved in dozens of wars over its 200 years of life, America has never had to suffer a true invasion. Why, the very thought! Who could amass an army so massive or execute a plan so flawlessly that the entire US of A would know defeat? The truth is, it’s not as impossible as we’d like to think, and the imagery of our own cities under siege is one of the easiest ways movies and games can get our American blood a-burnin’.

So, seeing as we’ve already coveredfireworksandrabidly patriotic games, we figured we’d celebrate this Fourth of July with a list of games where America gets its ass kicked… and then naturally makes a last minute comeback to win the day.

So, seeing as we’ve already coveredfireworksandrabidly patriotic games, we figured we’d celebrate this Fourth of July with a list of games where America gets its ass kicked… and then naturally makes a last minute comeback to win the day.


7- World in Conflict

How bad did they get us? Dude, so bad, I mean look at that box art, Lady Liberty hasn’t looked that tore up since Planet of the Apes. World in Conflict’s story is one of them highfalutin “Alternate History” type dealies that posits a 1989 in which the Commie Soviet Union decides to kick America’s ass instead of just rolling over and accepting the beauty of Coca-Cola and McDonalds. They attack via a surprise invasion of Seattle, effectively preventing both Starbucks and Grunge music from ever taking off. After catching us with our drawers around our ankles, the National Guard has to turn tail and evacuate the city, lest they be subjected to them dirty Red’s weird ideas about class equality and the boo-jah-wah-zee.

Makin matters even stickier is the fact they got secret Soviet Spetsnaz soldiers lurkin’ in New York, who plan on attacking the city with chemical weapons. The real kicker though? They’ve got the chemical weapons stashed inside the Statue of Liberty. Man that’s messed up, even for them low down Ruskies.

Did we proudly stand up and defend her? You bet your ass we did. A squad of rough and ready Rangers takes back Liberty Island from the Commies and saves the day on the East Coast. Things are a bit more hectic back in Seattle though, and to prevent those yellow bellied Lenin lovers from pushing any deeper into the good ol’ US of A, the Army is left with only one option: Let the disgraced Captain Bannon redeem himself by delaying the Russians just long enough to drop a big ole tactical nuclear strike on all of them. Thanks for the Cher-“noble” sacrifice Captain Bannon, this Bud’s for you.


6 - Freedom Fighters

How bad did they get us? In yet another piece of revisionist gaming, the Soviet Union drops the world’s first atomic bomb – not Hiroshima or Nagasaki, but on Berlin. With its might unquestioned, the USSR balloons across the globe, usurping Great Britain and several other countries. Eventually the Red Army sets its eyes on the US, invades New York City (leave the poor place alone!) and proceeds to stomp its way across the country – unless a rag tag group of freedom fighters can stop ‘em!


Above: Better dead than Red

Did we proudly stand up and defend her? You bet your buck o’ five we did. Even after Mr Jones, one of the resistance’s key informants, reveals himself as the friggin’ head of the KGB, the remaining US fighters rearm, reload, regroup, man up, cowboy up and Hulk out until they retake Governor’s Island and push the Commies back to the Mother Tundra. How exactly that frees the rest of the country isn’t clear; maybe they all just gave up? Either way, ‘Murca rises to the occasion and wins the day.

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