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The Top 7… extreme game character makeovers

Facelifts and other forms of cosmetic surgery aren’t just for aging MILFs, dried-up Hollywood C-listers and 40 stone blobs who have to get forklifted out of their beds. No, sometimes our favourite game stars need a bit of a nip and tuck too. After all, there’s no point battling hordes of the undead or saving the planet from a cult of religious alien zealots if you’re sporting last season’s armour or an out of date ‘do. In the spirit of self improvement, the following image-conscious characters all went under the digital scalpel for radical and flirty design changes in the hope of catching fickle gamers’ eyes.

7. Master Chief


Getting nipped and tucked between: Halo and Halo 2

Before…

When Spartan 117 hit the Xbox scene in late 2001 he debuted with a reasonably fetching, if rather bland ensemble. While his spacesuit might have given him sturdy protection against plasma grenades, it wasn’t that eye-catching. Observing his old get up now, he looks more like a common ODST than the monosyllabic saviour of humanity.

After…



Ahhhh, much better. Now this is what a space dude who spends all his time offing alien evil should look like. A bolder choice of metal plating really lets the sun glint off his heroic, genetically-engineered pectorals. And the reinforced crotch plating positively screams ‘ET exterminator by profession, tender lover by nature’.

Oprah! Make Over My Man!


Above: We’ve not seen her show in a while, but Oprah still speaks with a Cockney accent, right?


6. Prince of Persia


Getting nipped and tucked between: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time and Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Before…

This Arabian Hugh Grant wannabe might be a bit of a bumbling fop… but he was our bumbling fop <sniff>. A gentle action hero, the Prince and his game Sands of Time were perhaps too pure and polite to survive in the cutthroat, testosterone-twisted gaming market of 2003. Still, the Aladdin–esque baggy trousers and circa 1998 curtains hairstyle affirmed that this guy was the unthreatening sort you’d love to take home to your doting old mum…

After…



Until he told her where to f**king go, that is. Redesigned for angry, sun-deprived teens just a year after Sands of Time, Warrior Within’s rekitted royal asshole is an absolute douche. Physically, he’s not changed that much. A bit of moody stubble here, some emo eyeliner there… oh, and the complete absence of a soul. Thank God Ubisoft saw the error of its ways and gave us a hugely likeable current-gen Prince who definitely wasn’t a jock jerk. Yeah, bullet dodged on that one.

Oprah! Make Over My Man!

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58 comments

  • 2cute2Bcruel - September 25, 2010 2:40 a.m.

    Poison was really sexy before! Ugh. The Prince from Warrior Within was full of SUCK. Oh, and latent misogyny.
  • 8bitBaby - January 27, 2010 3:30 p.m.

    everyone went gritty and "dark" all of a sudden. Bomberman/woman might be the worst of them all.
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  • Blackviperr - January 25, 2010 12:20 p.m.

    Omg poison for final fight was so friggin HOT!! why in hell did they make her a man.. Geez sick X-(.. That's like making mario a fat plumber.. wait.. wut?
  • jackthemenace - January 22, 2010 7:04 p.m.

    WHOA, what the hell did they DO to bomberman!?
  • AndyGiff93 - January 21, 2010 11:19 p.m.

    My favourite part was the "are you having a giraffe son?". Oprah always makes me laugh with her cockney rhyming slang...
  • FantasticMrStarFox - January 20, 2010 6:31 p.m.

    poor bomberman.
  • LizarDAZZLE - January 20, 2010 4:01 a.m.

    wait - so... What DID they do to posion. Like, In the game itself?
  • Silvermech - January 20, 2010 2:41 a.m.

    Poor Poor Bomber Man.
  • Defguru7777 - January 20, 2010 1:57 a.m.

    Man, Halo's graphics really improved between Halo 1 and 2. That Poison section had me laughing and throwing up at the same time. A perfect Oprah picture to go with it. Speaking as someone who isn't a fan of Bomberman, I think the new one actually looks cool. Make of that what you will.
  • Scotch - January 20, 2010 1:14 a.m.

    haha hilarious, and imagining oprah with a brit accent hurts my brain XD love the article
  • JackSkellingtonsSkin - January 20, 2010 12:38 a.m.

    The weather in the North Pole is extreme, blowing up abortion clinics is extreme.What makes this extreme.
  • zanthox - January 19, 2010 11:24 p.m.

    Great article, really funny stuff.
  • GameManiac - January 19, 2010 10:48 p.m.

    Master chief was a great improvement. Prince of Persia went all WTF. Bomberhand on the other hand, made me literally say "What in the fuking?!?!"
  • ZombieAmmy - January 19, 2010 9:29 p.m.

    Well it is good to know that games radar is tolerant towards trans genders people :I
  • DriveShaft - January 19, 2010 9:18 p.m.

    About Redfield, the guy who played Matt in the first movie actually looks liek the original Chris, but fucking Wentworth Miller? x] Chris Redfield on roids vs. Brucie from GTA4, that would be epic x]
  • Pocotron - January 19, 2010 8:42 p.m.

    How about Jak from Jak II? He went all rogue and whatnot.
  • Optimaximal - January 19, 2010 4:41 p.m.

    Interesting how Poison is 'noted' as having 'changed into a man'... Someone needs to check into the characters back story :)

Showing 1-20 of 58 comments

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