The secretly sinister storylines of your favourite games

You never knew they were so wrong...

And when you're done here, click over to postmodernbarney, whose movie plot summaries inspired us to give video games the same treatment. Hey, we can't have all the good ideas on the internet, after all.


A sleeper agent causes the downfall of a rightful ruler, collapses the local social structure, then leaves and takes young girls with him.


A man lures attractive women to his home on false pretenses. They like it, decide to stay and remove their clothes.


A zealous military man kills visiting foreign dignitaries.




A has-been former star reacts violently to the cancellation of his contract.


A mentally divergent 39-year-old man earns the trust of a terminally ill 14-year-old girl and other disaffected children. He then takes them far away from home.


A young girl is sexually abused, then treated with prejudice and contempt.


A troubled youth with delusions of military glory gains control of a terrorist group under false pretenses.


Colonists destroy their new home with war, kill the natives and waste natural resources. A convicted war criminal is praised as a hero.


A disgruntled employee murders his boss and co-workers before attempting suicide. He earns a promotion.


A scientist bungles an experiment with horrific results and greets the repercussions with violence.


A disgraced former scientist wages a campaign of terror against the government and endangers the populace with the sabotage of a power reactor.


A military man uses pronounced physical advantages to kill thousands over religious differences.


A serial murderer claims repentance through religion, but goes back to his old ways as soon as money is short.


An irresponsible drunk causes gross damage to public property, then makes his offspring clear up his mess.


A youth steals historical artifacts and descrates ancient monuments, then assists a notorious thief in doing similar.


A government puppet kills wronged military veterans.


An out-of-work children's entertainer scrabbles in the ground for food.


A disaffected loner embarks on a killing spree. He also sexually harrasses a female colleague. He is known to enjoy videogames, anime and internet use.


An obese compulsive eater gains a sense of empowerment through drug use.


A foreign invader enslaves indiginous people. Many die doing his bidding.


Children snare wild animals and train them to fight each other in order to gain the respect of their peers.


An employee breaks professional protocol and causes the destruction of company property.


A headstrong young royal brings trouble to his country in the aftermath of overseas aggression.


A gun-toting American visits a developing nation and loots valuable natural resources while shooting defensive natives. He does so for the sake of freedom.


A disturbed wife-murderer goes on town-wide rampage, killing female health workers.


A blue-collar worker becomes obsessed with a female dignitary. He embarks on a long journey and assaults numerous royal employees in order to gain personal contact with her.


A blue collar worker aggressively chases wildlife in his car.


A privileged aristocrat plunders developing countries, killing endangered local wildlife along the way.


Animals are snared, farmed, fed to each other, and eventually sold to be killed for the amusement of children.


A man breaks into a house, raids the basement for valuable posessions and is venerated for his efforts.



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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.
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