The Mark

The British and the Americans have a very different way of waging war. The Mark captures this difference perfectly, and with a real sense of understated panache. The difference is this: when Fletcher, your US “go go go” character shoots a bad guy, he shouts: “Hope that hurt!” But when Hawke - the sneaky camp Englishman - kills someone, he snidely oils: “Hope that didn’t hurt.” Spot the difference? The English are sarcastic to corpses.

Before going back to why the game is funny, let us first tell you why the game is bad. First, the AI is on a par with R-Type. Learn where they are, allow for some sideways movement and shoot them. That’s not to say it’s easy - their bullets damage you plenty and they’re quick to fire - but it’s not a satisfying game to beat. The inclusion of depth of field, bullet-time and the rest make it feel like a box-checking project. It’s like putting a plastic tiara on a drunken goat, and you’d be well advised to try the demo first - the frame-rate dropped to an unplayable 8fps on our less macho machine.