Sims of sims: 10 ways to escape from escapism

We heard you like simulations so we put a simulation in your simulation so you can simulate while you simulate

After a while, however, even that got a bit tiresome, and as we got older and our disdain for doing things grew, game publishers caught on. That%26rsquo;s why we can now pretend to pretend to do things, distancing ourselves from actual activity as thoroughly as modern technology will allow. As evidence, here are 10 games that don%26rsquo;t let you pretend to be a soldier, a star athlete or anything remotely cool, but do let you pretend to pretend to be them, which is just what we always wanted.


What it simulates: Paintball
What its simulation is a simulation of: Actual combat

War isn%26rsquo;t particularly fun when it%26rsquo;s real, which is why most of us choose to play war games over actually enlisting and getting shot at. Paintball is great for that, and you definitely won%26rsquo;t get the same adrenaline rush from playing CoD 4. But that%26rsquo;s actual paintball. A game based on paintball is just the same as any other shooter except that it simulates something you could go do right now.


Above: The green blob monsters are bleeding rainbow juice! What do you mean there are no monsters in this game?


What it simulates: Babysitting
What its simulation is a simulation of: Actual parenthood

Parenthood is one of the most demanding and rewarding aspects of human existence. It isn%26rsquo;t absurd that games would be designed simulate our primal desire to reproduce and care for offspring. It is absurd to pretend to pretend to be a parent.


Above: It%26rsquo;s just like we%26rsquo;re really taking care of someone else%26rsquo;s kids while they do something fun, except we don%26rsquo;t get paid


What it simulates: Kart Racing
What its simulation is a simulation of: Car racing

How did we miss kart racing%26rsquo;s transition from a scaled down, casual version of racing and %26ldquo;something to do on the weekend%26rdquo; to a professional sport? Not that there%26rsquo;s anything wrong with %26ldquo;karting%26rdquo; gaining legitimacy%26hellip; except that climbing into a tiny car and skimming across the ground seems slightly less cool than revving the engine of a sports car. But if you like getting dust and pebbles kicked in your face, this could be your sport.


Above: This game boasts %26ldquo;Game play that captures the speed, adrenaline and thrills of Kart racing.%26rdquo; It does not, however, capture the cramped legs and embarrassment

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Associate Editor, Digital at PC Gamer
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