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Simon the Sorcerer 4: Chaos Happens review

Full of 'chaos'

Pros

  • Perfectly sculpted BREASTS
  • Wacky humor!
  • Helpful journal

Cons

  • Terrible writing
  • Ugly faces and voices
  • Arbitrary puzzles

Who writes this shit? The first thing you have to do in Simon the Sorcerer 4 is pick up a glass of milk and insert it into a cupboard. Sorry for ruining that for you. But don%26rsquo;t worry: there are plenty of other opportunities to combine Random Object A with Random Object K. That%26rsquo;s not a particularly unusual thing in the point-and-click genre, of course. But if there%26rsquo;s one thing a point-and-clicker needs, if only to stop players combining noose with banister, it%26rsquo;s a decent script. Simon the Sorcerer 4 has been written by a Pratchett-wannabe who thinks that humour equates to either a limp risque pun or a gag about our hero%26rsquo;s rubbishness. Oh, be still our aching sides.

The love interest also has aching sides because of her PAIR OF BREASTS. In case you didn%26rsquo;t notice, her BREASTS are BREASTY and these BREASTS have had more time spent on their sculpting than nonsense like faces or voice-acting. They%26rsquo;re certainly a better pairing than anything else the game comes up with. It doesn%26rsquo;t waste time on logic, preferring to make progress depend on bizarre combinations you can only discover through trial and error. Awesome! To be fair, after a few ridiculous puzzles you get a journal that solves everything, and a map that lets you jump around the world, so it%26rsquo;s not exactly onerous. But if this appeals, try smacking yourself in the face with the nearest two random objects. Feels good? Course it bloody doesn%26rsquo;t. Utter, utter toss.

Oct 16, 2008

More Info

GenreAdventure
Description<p>A sorely unfunny title that is shockingly the fourth in the series.</p>
PlatformPC
US censor rating
UK censor rating12+
Release date: (US), 10 October 2008 (UK)
Available platforms:PC
Genre:Adventure
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