Who writes this shit? The first thing you have to do in Simon the Sorcerer 4 is pick up a glass of milk and insert it into a cupboard. Sorry for ruining that for you. But don%26rsquo;t worry: there are plenty of other opportunities to combine Random Object A with Random Object K. That%26rsquo;s not a particularly unusual thing in the point-and-click genre, of course. But if there%26rsquo;s one thing a point-and-clicker needs, if only to stop players combining noose with banister, it%26rsquo;s a decent script. Simon the Sorcerer 4 has been written by a Pratchett-wannabe who thinks that humour equates to either a limp risque pun or a gag about our hero%26rsquo;s rubbishness. Oh, be still our aching sides.
The love interest also has aching sides because of her PAIR OF BREASTS. In case you didn%26rsquo;t notice, her BREASTS are BREASTY and these BREASTS have had more time spent on their sculpting than nonsense like faces or voice-acting. They%26rsquo;re certainly a better pairing than anything else the game comes up with. It doesn%26rsquo;t waste time on logic, preferring to make progress depend on bizarre combinations you can only discover through trial and error. Awesome! To be fair, after a few ridiculous puzzles you get a journal that solves everything, and a map that lets you jump around the world, so it%26rsquo;s not exactly onerous. But if this appeals, try smacking yourself in the face with the nearest two random objects. Feels good? Course it bloody doesn%26rsquo;t. Utter, utter toss.
Oct 16, 2008