“First, cousin, apologies for my lack of correspondence. One never can truly rely on the postal network in foreign climbs, even in a place as enchanting as Scandinavia. I am pleased to report, however, that Mistress DualShock 4 performed perfectly during the Battlefield 4 gathering. Her triggers and thumbsticks made my work effortless, although her touchpad was distinctly less gainfully employed. There was, at one juncture, a moment of extreme jealousy when I was compelled to spend time with Mistress Xbox One Pad, Baron von Microsoft’s offspring.
While I found her pleasant company, I noted her upper triggers most unsuitable for use in Battlefield. They were too stiff and shallow, creating a frightful disconnect between themselves and the regular triggers. No, sir. I also keenly noted the absence of touchpad on Mistress Xbox One--she is most unfortunate to be without it. She is a fair maiden and will do great things in society, but shall not receive as hasty a pre-order from me, cousin. Yours, as always, Sir Andrew Roland Fortescue Quentin Hartup, Esq, of GamesRadar Manor.”