Saints Row: The Third review

  • The sheer madness of it all
  • The pure unadulterated fun
  • Inventive weapons and vehicles
  • A few boring sidemissions
  • That Steelport isn't more interesting
  • Going back to normal games

One of the problems with describing things that happen in Saints Row the Third is that everything you write just starts to sound like a demented Mad Lib. The green man in the gimp suit hit the luchador gang member in the crotch with an anime squid cannon. And we swear we’re not making any of that up.

Welcome to Steelport

As in the previous games, you play as the leader of the Saints, a purple clad gang looking to take over the city by crushing rival gangs, cops and anyone else who gets in their way. Saints Row 2 ended with the gang taking over the city of Stillwater and making themselves superstars in the process. The Saints are now as much a brand as a gang, hocking sponsored bobbleheads and energy drinks to the public.

After a bank heist gone wrong, the Saints find themselves in Steelport, butting heads with a local crime group known as the Syndicate. From there it’s the classic rise to power story, as you take out the rival gangs, and eventually a paramilitary force, one by one. As far as story goes, SR3 isn’t reinventing the wheel, but the dialogue between the characters is consistently hilarious. The game is packed with in-jokes, meta humor and constantly swerves into almost surreal territory. 

Over the top ASAP

Usually, the problem with giving the player the best weapons and vehicles in a game immediately is that they won’t have anything to look forward to. SR3 overcomes that issue by constantly setting the bar ever higher in terms of fun, insanity and unpredictability. Getting a rocket launcher in GTA was a big deal because it usually only showed up later in the game and in limited quantities. Getting a rocket launcher in SR3 is like finding a dollar on the side walk, cool, but not exciting, because in the world of SR3, rocket launchers are only the tip of the iceberg.

As with most sandbox games, the sandbox itself is the city, but the toys are the vehicles and the weapons. SR3’s weapons start off innocently enough with the standard pistols, SMGs and shotguns, but before long it’s UAV drones, hover bikes and meg- uh I mean “Cyber” Busters.

The self described “Awesome button” is just that, a button that makes all of your moves more ridiculous. While it’s technically just the sprint button, it speeds up actions like stealing a car or attacking an enemy, making the little things faster and more exciting. In fact one of the more fun things about SR3 is how between taking human shields and hitting enemies in the crotch, you can actually do a lot of damage with melee attacks in this game. Sprint towards an enemy and attack, and you’ll perform running DDTs and other moves that leave the enemy knocked down. Running into a room full of armed goons and meleeing everyone to death is endlessly entertaining.   

On a mission

One of the biggest complaints people have about sandbox games is that when playing actual missions it’s all essentially variations on “drive to this point on your GPS and kill this guy”. While that remains the nature of the sandbox beast, SR3 does its best to swerve violently off the path of what you expect.

One mission finds you trying to drive a car smoothly with a tiger in the passenger seat batting at you, while another has you travelling the city in a hover jet, dogfighting other hover jets and taking out tanks with your heat ray. Volition really manages to break the mold with some of their later missions, notably "http://decker.die", a mission so insanely creative and funny that it single handedly makes the game worth playing. We won’t spoil it, but it takes place inside a computer, so be prepared for anything.

Like any good sandbox game, SR3 includes a bunch of optional side missions to pad out the roughly 13 hour campaign. While some of the side missions, like Escort and Trafficking are a little dull, the vast majority of them are a blast. Mayhem, Trailblazer, and Heli Assault are loaded with big explosions and destruction, while classics like Insurance Fraud have your character hurling themselves into traffic while ragdolling into as many other cars as possible. The much touted "Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax" is particularly fun. 

Custom Fitted

Many players were a little saddened to see the lack of customization options in GTA IV, and for them SR3 will be a welcome change of pace. Your character is fully customizable and can be completely changed at plastic surgeons located around the city whenever you want. Want a 400 pound metallic blue drag queen in a catsuit with Russian accent to be your main character? Go for it. Created characters can then be shared and swapped online via the game's community functionality. 

Your vehicles can also be upgraded and fully customized, and best of all the game automatically saves them to your garage, meaning that if you accidentally drop your creation into the ocean, you can still get it back. Unlike GTA IV, SR's driving is totally unrealistic, and as a result, totally fun. Crib customization is also available, though if you’re playing SR3, interior design is probably quite low on the list of things you’ll want to do.

More Info

Release date: Nov 15 2011 - PS3
Nov 15 2011 - PC
Nov 15 2011 - Xbox 360 (US)
Available Platforms: PS3, PC, Xbox 360
Genre: Adventure
Published by: THQ
Developed by: Volition
ESRB Rating:
Mature: Blood and Gore, Drug Reference, Intense Violence, Partial Nudity, Strong Language, Sexual Content
PEGI Rating:
Rating Pending


  • Gamer_Geek - August 29, 2012 12:34 p.m.

    I would think Saint's Row III would be more like the original, which was much more fun than Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and Grand Theft Auto: IV. Saint's Row seems like Crackdown but with a Grand Theft Auto twist to it, I don't see how they went from some realistic gangsta sandbox game, to a Marvel version of Crackdown? I'm still loyal to Rockstar and GTA due to the more serious storyline and realistic game play, Rockstar did really well with Red Dead Redemption.
  • ppinc2 - May 8, 2012 11:32 a.m.

    great game. I even like it more than some gta episodes. also you can download it now as cheap as 7 quid. I am looking forward to see gta v but untill it is released I will keep playing saints row.
  • The_Boz - April 17, 2012 10:17 a.m.

    One of the best games of the past couple of years. I would love THQ to get the rights for the original Batman, the camp version from a few decades ago and re-write this game for it. Now that would be a "movie" licence worth seeing.
  • xxxEstilo209xxx - January 25, 2012 10:01 p.m.

    i got this for christmas and it came with an online pass and saints row 2 full game code!!! havent downloaded the game though cuz kinda takes some memory...but still i lov dis so curious about sr2 but ill download it eventually...
  • Gamer_Dude69 - January 9, 2012 7:51 a.m.

    i loved this game well worth the money i payed for it definately deserves a ten in my opinion
  • xxxEstilo209xxx - January 25, 2012 9:58 p.m.

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  • LummyDude - November 25, 2011 8:39 a.m.

    I personally can't be bothered playing this game. After watching all the reviews and listening to what my friends have been saying, the game has been made into a joke. How can you go from making two very decent gangstar games, and then making the third into a super hero, looney toon, weirdo, whackey racers, incredible hulk kind of game! Idiots!
  • Headstandz - December 1, 2011 3:34 a.m.

    Have you played the game? No? Then your opinion doesn't matter. My friend didn't want to play it because he thought it was a terrible GTA copy. He played it and took all of his words back.
  • viberunner - March 21, 2012 9:19 p.m.

    I could have lived with all that if the city wasn't so boring. It's a shell of a Saint's Row game - lots of fun stuff to do, but without any of the interesting locations that MADE the first games.
  • alex-roy-bristol - November 5, 2012 5:10 p.m.

    Dude, really? The 2nd wasn't AS silly, sure, but, it was still pretty fucked up bro...
  • dibsB - November 17, 2011 12:39 p.m.

    Never played any saints game before this and kind of didn't enjoy the first thirty minutes or so. But after that its been really fun and enjoyable and a lot better than I imagined. I'd give it a 9/10, not GTA IV but thats the point.
  • MidianGTX - November 16, 2011 11:14 a.m.

    There are so many forum topics around with complaints about missing features from Saints Row 2 that I was genuinely surprised to read this review. And now also a little confused. I know there's always a case of "haters gonna hate" but after a certain point you start to think... why has so much content been removed? I could swear SR2 was a 40+ hour game and now we're talking about half that. This makes no sense whatsoever.
  • DualWieldingIsNotFeasible - November 16, 2011 6:45 a.m.

    Picked it up yesterday...played all night...f*cking amazing. I have never laughed so much while playing a game, both from the beautifully self-aware jokes and from childish glee while I hit pedestrians with the dildo bat. It's like the videogame equivalent of a Paul Verhoeven movie: full of ridiculous action, but with a subtle undercurrent of parody. Simple amazing.
  • xxxEstilo209xxx - January 25, 2012 10:03 p.m.

    sounds like you have fun i do too :D awesome game right?
  • AceDynamo - November 15, 2011 1:15 p.m.

    Ahh!! I love it when racist assholes get mad at games that get a good score cause it has diversity in it! Poop on the nazi guy! Lmao!! I never thought buying me some fresh threads would get me killed by a big MUTHERFUCKER brut juggernaut! I got murdered in a fucking clothing store!!! Are u fucking serious?!?! I didn't see that coming. ONKY noticed I was dead! I love u Volition for having the balls to think outside the box! I like the little SRIII logo in the corner! (I see the face because I have an eye...if u know what I mean) Saints Row 3 just finally MURKED the GTA Series! Sry GTA...use to be a big fan all the back to the London 1968 baby but its time for a NEW KING in the sandbox opera! SR 3 up....GTA...fades to black! R...I....Peeeeeeeee!!
  • xxxEstilo209xxx - January 25, 2012 10:06 p.m.

    so true...moment of silence for GTA IV...*giggles during silence* XD

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