Remember when TV shows had writers instead of unfunny, adlibbing presenters? Remember when they had cast and crew rather than contestants? Yeah, good, wasn't it? Alas, producers have long since realised that it's far more profitable to invite the terminally self-esteem deficient to flail themselves into a sub-human state of devolution, like primitive man performing a ritualistic dance in order to invoke a quick-fix sense of personal relevence via the medium of being that guy who smashed his face open on that thing on TV.
They gain dubious self-respect. The unblinking sofa morlocks soaking it up with their big stupid fried-egg eyes achieve the same by not being that idiot who smashed his face open on TV. And the whole thing costs around the price of a bag of chips to make. Yay!
And now they're dragging video games into it. Poor old Pac-Man. He deserves better.
Merv Griffin Entertainment has made a deal with Namco Bandai to create a "big, crazy Wipeout-type event with a lot of energy", which will "take what Pac-Man is and bring it to life, to bring what is essentially the world's biggest game of tag to television." Yawn. I can already see it. Big sponge maze. Big sponge Pac costume. Big sponge ghost costumes. Lots of running and crashing into things. Power pill buttons in the corners of said maze that let the contestant chase the ghosts in order to win moderately aspirational prizes. Brief interest. Flagging viewing figures. Cancelled after the first season.
And however they pull it off, it's not going to be as good as French comedy terrorist Remi Gaillard's real-life Pac-Man recreation.
This news comes just days after the announcement that Atari has a Missile Command movie in the works. Early '80s gaming in 2011. It's like watching the beloved actors from your childhood doing softcore late-night porn to keep a comatose career on life support.
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