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Ninjitsu + glitches + Portal = Unholy 10 minute speed-run

This shit ain't right. There are speedrun videos, ridiculous speedrun videos, and then there's bulldozing through a game, tearing it limb from limb, in a merciless smash-and-grab evisceration. When the game involved is as delicately and elegantly constructed as Portal, it just feels a bit disrespectful.

But still, that's what Transgenic86 has done, exploiting every glitch and twitch available to him in order to hammer whrough the entirety of Portal in under ten minutes. Clipping bugs, Portals through clipping bugs...It's all there, as well as some stuff you just won't fathom. He even makes it into the cake room at the end. So watch and be boggled. But just spare a thought for poor, violated Portal, who's sitting rocking and whimpering in a corner as we speak.

There are commentary videos explaining all of this dark magic and debauched arcanery here. In case, you know, you've got a spare half hour and fancy playing Portal a few times.

Cheers, PC Gamer! Love yooooouu!

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27 comments

  • JADENkOTOR - December 15, 2010 11 p.m.

    @ TheVoid: I am now your biggest fan. Thats up there with some of the best shit I have ever read.
  • ultraextreme - December 12, 2010 12:40 a.m.

    Wow this guy needs a girlfriend. I have LOADS of girlfriends that wont let me do stuff like this, yeah im cool. Im also gonna comment abut people online because i care about what they say, rock and or roll. oh man dry humour, lost online. nice vid
  • KrEid - December 11, 2010 6:38 p.m.

    And THAT's how you save the cube! "this test may take a very, very long time, feel free to pass out" three seconds later "Well done"
  • TheVoid - December 11, 2010 6:36 a.m.

    @SWTerrell - We don't all have time to read every fucking game site out there so just deal, OK? I for one enjoyed this, having not seen it before. And even if I had seen it before, I wouldn't be wimpering like the total butt muffin that you clearly are over something as inane as duplication across games news sites. I mean, seriously? Why not just relax and appreciate how much this site does and how far it goes for our entertainment. Or just go lick Kotaku's ass. Or better yet, go fuck yourself. And maybe try being happy for a change you fucking douche. @jonathanaltman - The same goes for you, you motherfucking crybaby! Your comment made SWTerrell's look like a fart joke in comparison. You really need to take a walk and get some fresh air. Seriously man, what's the fucking big deal? If you can't take the crude humor, go watch PBS. Or better yet, why not make a hyper-serious gaming website of your own and then see how much traffic it pulls because no one cares. And while you are at it, go pull on your dick for a while and try not to cry while you do it you bitter fuck. Is it just me or do folks like this need to just take it easy for once? It's like life isn't worth living for them unless they bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch. Me, I prefer to enjoy the time I spend here (when I'm not completely railing assholes who need a healthy e-slap across the face, that is).
  • Baron164 - December 11, 2010 2:13 a.m.

    That was insane, totally worth it
  • NullG7 - December 11, 2010 12:33 a.m.

    The Cake is a lie... The Cake... ... Isnt a lie??? ... (Muffled bang followed by what sounds like a large object hitting the floor, then a dying breath)
  • Defguru7777 - December 10, 2010 8:49 p.m.

    Holy crap...
  • JADENkOTOR - December 10, 2010 6:31 p.m.

    Thats crazy, I remember Portal taking way longer than that.
  • wladodragovic - December 10, 2010 6:19 p.m.

    @awsomemaster Yep. This was a really nice video, I liked it a lot. :) The singing on the credits, FTW. :D
  • awsomemaster - December 10, 2010 5:24 p.m.

    ABH... isn't that what people would do to go through walls in sm64? giving people the ability to beat the game with 0 stars.
  • bigdirtygreek - December 10, 2010 5:24 p.m.

    did he really need to ruin the song at the end?
  • CancerMan - December 10, 2010 4:49 p.m.

    @SWTerrell Kotaku's simply faster. I avoid that site because of the overlap with EVERY game site.
  • SWTerrell - December 10, 2010 3:37 p.m.

    Where have I seen this before? Oh right, kotaku did it. It stopped being funny how many times that happened. I would like to read a different story on a different news site guys. Sorry if it sounds like I'm being a total butt muffin, but I doubt it's coincidence that many stories magically end up here that I saw on kotaku first.
  • Channel4 - December 10, 2010 2:08 p.m.

    @JMAN1156 - It really isn't.
  • JMAN1156 - December 10, 2010 2 p.m.

    he needs to try this in portal prelude (mod). BTW Portal Prelude is BETTER than the original portal.
  • Robx - December 10, 2010 1:50 p.m.

    Yeah...if you are doing it this way, you may as well use the noclip command...
  • Channel4 - December 10, 2010 1:45 p.m.

    Do it on the 360 version.
  • Untarr - December 10, 2010 1:29 p.m.

    I guess the cake wasn't a lie for him...
  • Clovin64 - December 10, 2010 12:56 p.m.

    This isnt how Portal is supposed to be played! Witchcraft I say! In all seriousness though, this video would have taken a lot of dedication and attention to complete, so kudos.
  • Kage_No_Shi - December 10, 2010 12:54 p.m.

    I seriously WTF-ed at some of the stuff he did. It would take hours and hours of rehearsal + superman like reflexes...

Showing 1-20 of 27 comments

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