• Squirrel - July 5, 2013 12:25 a.m.

    Or Whomps and Chain Chomps from Mario. And while we're on Mario, how about the whole countryside?? Everything inculding the hills seem to have eyes and in some games even sway to the music.
  • Squirrel - July 5, 2013 12:19 a.m.

    How about Dhalsim from Street Fighter? Metroids? Kirby? Or a Blue Slime from Dragon Quest?? And I think we need some internal diagrams for these creatures.
  • pokepark7 - July 3, 2013 7:47 p.m.

    OK? that was awkward O_O i was suspecting something else because of the name and all but i was interesting :D
  • GOD - July 3, 2013 7:39 p.m.

    I like how this article essential says that the TLOU is a Mario rip off :D .....the more I think about it the more it makes sense! (light spoilers ahead, nothing major but I'd recommend stearing clear if you haven't played TLOU yet) SPOILERS: THOU HAST BEEN WARNED Mario is Joel, Peach is Ellie, Sarah is Pauline, Bowser is David, Luigi is Tommy, Goombas are cordyceps, Koopas are hunters, Tess is a toad, Marlene would be Donkey Kong (the original), and Bill would be Wario. The combat focuses mostly on melee with the addition of firepower every now and then and literal fire being your best friend when it comes to wiping out enemies. Also the world you exist in is very inhospitable despite normally looking very calm on the surface, and pretty much everything that moves will try to kill you. Both also feature non-regenerating health and you can only heal through the use of health in found in boxes in the environment. When you find excess health you can store it for later (the savable power up in mario games). Later on there is gameplay with up to 4 characters, but it's the most tense when it's you all alone. The fireflies being at another place each time is like the princess is in another castle. It keeps getting your hopes up just to say nope, try again next time. There's also a theme of kidnapping. Bowser putting peach in a cage, David putting Ellie in a cage. Both main characters have awesome facial hair. If you by chance wanted to make what I just said into a full article, I would not claim any ownership. All I'd ask is for a quick nod for the basic concept and the rest of the credit could be yours ;D Does this work for anybody else or am I just crazy? xD
  • Oujisama - July 4, 2013 1:52 p.m.

    You can take everything you said and match it up to %50 of all games that have ever been created. Good effort, but it really doesn't work.
  • archnite - July 5, 2013 9:33 a.m.

    I think we should also add Bioshock Infinite into the mix to make this theory concrete
  • LBD_Nytetrayn - July 3, 2013 5:52 p.m.

    "Paratroopa," not Paratrooper. ;P
  • JMarsella09 - July 3, 2013 3:10 p.m.

    I was expecting diagrams of goomba anatomy. I am disappointed.
  • oryanbelt - July 3, 2013 1:28 p.m.

    I imagine that Paratroopers evolved those wings in order to fly over streets so they stop getting squished by cars all the time
  • Foxygamer - July 3, 2013 1:10 p.m.

    great article :D
  • avantguardian - July 3, 2013 12:09 p.m.

    'cold, hard, pseudo-science'. classic. i feel like hooters has found a pocket of inspiration, and i'm seeing more articles than usual. keep 'em coming. :)
  • PatHan-bHai - July 3, 2013 11:46 a.m.

    Now what do you say bout Kratos kimself? :P
  • shawksta - July 3, 2013 11:38 a.m.

    Great article David but damn, trying to explain how it works, especially with using words like Parasite makes it seem much more creepier. I LIKE IT.
  • mothbanquet - July 3, 2013 8:45 a.m.

    Impressive theories, to be sure. I'd reckon you could do a whole feature of this kind on Metal Gear antagonists alone. Oh wait, they already have crackpot theories behind them... But I'm sure you'd come up with far more compelling hypotheses for the End's creepy bulgy eyes.
  • spawnofspike - July 3, 2013 7:51 a.m.

    Goombas are chestnuts, not mushrooms...GG
  • Sinosaur - July 3, 2013 10:11 a.m.

    That's not actually true, at least not in current canon. They've been mushrooms for years now.
  • LBD_Nytetrayn - July 3, 2013 5:52 p.m.

    Depends on the variety; the traditional Little Goombas (such as the ones shown in the article) are traitors of the Mushroom Kingdom, while the Goombas in Super Mario World (who are also among the classic ones in Super Mario 3D World) are more chestnut-like. In Japan, the two even have distinct names to denote their difference: Kuribo for Little Goomba and Kuribon (which means "chestnut people") for the SMW version.
  • Elgyem - July 3, 2013 7:02 a.m.

    Now what about geodude?
  • slimjim441 - July 3, 2013 8:46 a.m.

    I'm pretty sure there's a whole site dedicated to the anatomy of pokemon. I'd find a link, but I'm lazy.

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