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54 comments

  • FAT47ITY - February 27, 2013 5:58 p.m.

    I can think of two you've missed: 1. The Thunder Gun from CoD: BlOps Zombies (I don't know of any prior appearances) It's a huge, Russian-built steel contraption that releases an entire tank of hyper-compressed air when you pull the trigger. Apparently, it's so awkward and bulky that Newton's third law of motion doesn''t even want to play with it 2. The Syringe Gun from TF2 On the other end of the gun spectrum, we have a dinky little homebuilt pneumatic gun that shoots hypodermic needles. Aside from the fact that it's see-through clip clearly cannot hold the iconic 40 needles, since when were needles even as dangerous as bullets to begin with? Obviously, a needle can be rather deadly if it is filled with some lethal disease, but NO, the Syringe Gun inflicts damage from IMPACT DAMAGE ALONE! The only logical explanation for the Syringe Gun is that every single needle contains a drop of a substance which causes intense localized pain and which activates in a hundredth of a second. And I'm excluding the part about making all the needles fly straight.
  • Person5 - February 28, 2013 8:54 p.m.

    well if they injected right when they hit their target (assuming that works) the target would be injected with a needful of air, sounds lethal to me.
  • FAT47ITY - March 1, 2013 4:42 p.m.

    Air in your body is lethal? Please tell me more.
  • angelusdlion - March 1, 2013 6:43 p.m.

    What do you think the bends are, more or less? And an air bubble in the bloodstream can stop your heart.
  • angelusdlion - March 1, 2013 12:29 p.m.

    Thunder guns were all lumped under one category in this article.
  • FAT47ITY - March 1, 2013 4:40 p.m.

    THUNDER gun, not electricity gun.
  • angelusdlion - March 1, 2013 6:44 p.m.

    Point to you. I misread that.
  • TheGuy0526 - March 2, 2013 9:44 a.m.

    Yeah, air would kill you if you somehow managed to shoot a needle into an artery, and that's even iffy since there's no guaranteeing the bubble will reach the heart. But realistically, that isn't doable. So I think you'd be alright.
  • LEGOMatrix - February 27, 2013 5:55 p.m.

    I think Samus' cannon would be ok. It probably fires some sort of blob of supercooled fluid, suspended and manipulated by electrical fields, like plasma. It wouldn't necessarily need to come into direct contact with her cannon muzzle. In fact, it probably uses the same systems as her plasma gun. Isn't her morph ball more of a liability unless you are a contortionist? Crushes you on activation? I'll leave that, ta.
  • chrisbg99 - February 28, 2013 5:08 p.m.

    While I'm not certain I think (judging by how it looks in Metroid Prime) the morph ball converts Samus into energy so no contortionist ability is needed. In fact the Space Pirates learned that lesson the hard, grisly way. And frankly since the Chozo were a race of super-super-science space birds, that pretty much explains whatever you need to know about Samus' abilities.
  • LEGOMatrix - March 2, 2013 3:50 a.m.

    So... she doesn't belong on the list at all? Chozo magic makes everything practical!
  • chrisbg99 - March 2, 2013 5:54 a.m.

    Yep. Practicality can be easily excused when you are dealing with super-super-science magic.
  • BaraChat - February 27, 2013 5:54 p.m.

    This is the kind of article that made me fall in love with GR. Keep it up good men.
  • angelusdlion - March 1, 2013 12:30 p.m.

    This kind of article, or more accurately the number of this kind of article, is what long ago made me give up on GR as a serious news source.
  • TheGuy0526 - March 2, 2013 9:46 a.m.

    Bro, you're kind of a downer. Go drink a smoothie or something lol
  • Frieza - February 27, 2013 4:53 p.m.

    I remember dual-wielding rocket launchers in Goldeneye 64. I spammed them so much that I actually froze the game up. Can't remember if you needed cheats to use them or if there was some secret to using them legally.
  • winner2 - February 27, 2013 3:50 p.m.

    Like every weapon from destroy all humans. Anal probe, dislocator ray, meteor gun, the bouncy ball gun...
  • CUFCfan616 - February 27, 2013 3:14 p.m.

    Duel weilding miniguns in Timesplitters? Carrying one is questionable, let alone one in each hand
  • communinja - February 27, 2013 2:58 p.m.

    1) The crossbow would have a heat-reflective surface to focus the heat on the rail whilst preventing damage to rest of the gun. 2) Samus' blaster, much the the Tardis, is bigger on the inside. There is no way for it to possible fit her arm, AND still fire rockets. The beam generator is likely rather large and well insulated. with no direct contact with the suit except for a control module. Think of it like a 'pocket dimension' similar to where the Transformers store most their robot bits, or a bag of holding. 3) The lightning gun. It has already been proven that we can direct, and redirect, lightning using a laser. This at least gets us to the intended target. With sufficient enough voltage the lightning should jump to the nearest grounding points. 4) The dark matter gun doesn't fire just a black hole. It fires a gravity well generator that contains a microscopic black hole. When this generator breaks open on impact, the black hole is released and becomes unstable. This is why it consumes the matter in the immediate area vicinity then collapses in on itself and vanishes. 5) the gravity hammer uses an inertial dampening field to negate any forces acting upon the wielder, while also anchoring that person to the hammer itself so as to prevent them from suddenly floating off into space. This explains why the wielder is immune to the effect, as well as explaining why they appear to be floating when the hammer hits the ground. 6) the peacemaker is a railgun the fires using a magnetic centrifuge. The centrifuge would also be a vacuum chamber, which prevents any surface friction from air resistance. Once fired, the ammunition follow magnetic stabilization system in the barrel (to prevent contact with the sides). Once the rounds leave the barrel, the air resistance causes each round to become superheated which immolates the target. As there is no friction in the gun itself, there is no heat transferred to the gun. 7) The experimental MIRV was loosely based on the Davy Crockett nuclear rifle from the cold war. It didn't see action because it was impossible to outrun the blast wave cause by the mini-nuke's explosion. With a 'clean' enough nuclear explosion, the radioactive material is used up in nearly it's entirety. There would still be plenty of radiation, but in a post-apocalyptic world such as the one seen in Fallout, it would hardly make a noticeable difference. 8) the energy sword. These are designed to be wielded by an individual wearing energy shielding. The blade and the shield would be designed to work along very specific wavelengths, to prevent the blade from passing through it's own wielder's shield. Similar to how a light sabre can cut through all matter EXCEPT the blade of another light sabre. Furthermore, the handle of this weapon is designed in such a way that only an idiot would hold it backwards, and even if they did, they wouldn't be able to hold down all of the (numerous) blue trigger buttons pictured. If is an obvious safety feature that would prevent the blade from triggering unless the hilt is held in a very specific manor. 9) plasma simply refers to superheated air. Much like railgun, the flames you see when it fires are not the propellent, but rather the air turning to plasma because of the friction of the air resistance. It wouldn't be hard to fathom a gun that could fire a small fusion reaction or something else that would generate enough heat to surround the round with plasma as it passes through the air. 10) Yeah, okay, i agree. Only Serious Sam (and most pirate ships) would be capable of this one. Thoughts?
  • pin316 - February 27, 2013 6:33 p.m.

    Thoughts..... Communinja for next SecDef! +1 for effort
  • kyle94 - February 27, 2013 6:50 p.m.

    6) You don't need friction on the gun in order to transfer heat. Heat radiation would do a fine job, and wouldn't be done away with because it's a railgun, and even if there's no air whatsoever (which would be difficult, given the open barrel, and the difficulty in getting a perfect vacuum), the end of the barrel and the air surrounding the gun would be superheated, and the air would also contribute to the gun heating up. 7) The blast wave from the Davy Crockett wasn't what done it in. It was the device's inaccuracy, and more importantly, it's near-lethal radiation dose it would produce for the people firing it. In addition, the Fat Man in the game is based more on the Davy Crockett. The MIRV fires 8 mini-nukes at once, and is even less inaccurate. It basically acts like a nuclear bazooka shotgun. In addition, having a clean nuclear bomb wouldn't reduce radiation. The majority of the radiation does not come from the spreading of the radioactive material used to create the bomb, but the result of the energy of the nuclear explosion itself creating radioactive material through neutron activation. A pure fusion explosion would create less radioactive fallout than a fission device, but not entirely remove the threat. And then you have theorized neutron bombs, which are more efficient, yet a greater percentage of the energy released is in radiation instead of heat and kinetic energy. Not to mention the difficulty in creating a small nuclear warhead. The warheads used for the Davy Crockett were 50 pounds, were low yield and inefficient, and yet could still destroy a two-block area and give a lethal dose of radiation to anything within a quarter mile.
  • angelusdlion - March 1, 2013 12:32 p.m.

    citations please?
  • angelusdlion - March 1, 2013 12:31 p.m.

    to paraphrase the MST4K theme song. "If you wonder how they load and shoot and other science facts. You should tell yourself "It's just a game, I really should relax." :)

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