Okay, we get the drill by now: Americans aren't as in love with soccer/football as the rest of the world. Maybe it's because we have the NFL, maybe it's because we have short attention spans so games that end with a score of 2-1 aren't that exciting. Maybe it's because we don't love that guy who shouts "GOAAAAAAALLL!" for such a long time that his face turns blue and his grandkids call 911. Or maybe, just maybe, it's because we couldn't set the goalie's hands on fire, knock opponents out with deadly flatulence, and send a giant egg the size of a volkswagon screeching into the net to clear a path for the ball.
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