When the New Xbox Live Experience first launched last November, we were excited to queue up our Netflix accounts with our favorite shows and movies. But lately we’ve been begging and praying for something good to be available in Netflix’s “Watch Instantly” tab, because we’ve finished every episode of 30 Rock and seen Super High Me once (you only need to see it once).
Since we may not be able to stream The Dark Knight anytime soon, we can fill the void by filling our Instant Queues with The Legend of Zelda animated series and, uh, a collection of Uwe Boll movies. And yeah, they're not necessarily Oscar or Emmy-grade material. But they are videogame-related, and most of 'em are so eye-meltingly awful that you've just got to see them.
Nintendo on your Xbox 360
The show: Super Mario Bros. Super Show!: Mario of the Deep (1989)
Why you should queue it up: If only we could expel 8-bit sounds every time we jumped in the air or hear the entire original NES Super Mario Bros. soundtrack through our daily walks of life. If that isn’t enough for you, maybe the cheesy rap intro is.
The show: The Legend of Zelda: The Complete Animated Series (1989)
Why you should queue it up: Well excuuuuuse me, Princess. We had no idea Link was such a douchey, adolescent punk. Excuuuuuuuuse us, but we wouldn’t trust this kid with our girlfriends, let alone trust him to guard the Triforce. See for yourself.
The show: Captain N: The Game Master: Adventures in Videoland (1989)
Why you should queue it up: First of all, this kid Kevin gets sucked into a TV with his dog and finds himself trapped in Videoland. Somehow, it doesn’t seem to faze him that he’s turned into a cartoon. What’s more upsetting is it doesn’t seem to faze him that the artist’s renditions of Simon Belmont, Kid Icarus, and Mega Man are absolutely horrible.
Above: That’s right, we said it
See Street Fighter get naked on the next page.