Low-scoring Super Mario Bros run carries hope of humanity through bleak days

How to impress with a poor score on an ancient game

Words: on July 12, 2011

The Space Shuttle is on its final mission, and with it the dreams of a generation prepare to go to ground. Economies worldwide hang in the balance as unemployment in the US and UK skyrocket. The world holds out for a hero: sure, soon, and larger than life. And true to form, the Internet hears this desperate cry and puts forward a champion in the form of YouTube's own NotEntirelySure, whose Old School Gaming Feats include scoring 600 points in Super Mario Bros for the NES. No, wait, that's actually really impressive.

“Here I achieve the (almost) lowest score possible in Super Mario Bros for the NES,” explains NotEntirelySure humbly. Well, no, the lowest possible score is actually zero – unless, of course, what you mean is that you've completed the whole damn game without losing a single life and managed to kill as few enemies and collect as few bonuses as possible, as well as running out the clock on every level (the skipping of which is the only way the video's been edited) and doing everything else to minimize your score. In which case, he’s actually managed something that, face facts, you almost certainly couldn’t do, at least not without dubious tactics (in 2010, a Chinese player achieved a 500-point run on a rather doctored-looking version of the game).

Is this a feat that impressive? Does it, just maybe, restore your own bruised hope for our beleaguered civilization? What unorthodox feats have you accomplished lately, friends?

Jul 12, 2011

Source: Reddit 

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Platforms:

Wii, DS, 3DS, Wii U

20 Comments
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  • D0CCON

    D0CCON  - 8 months, 4 weeks ago  - Report

    That 500 point score could be legit since according to this, it's as low as you can get (this person did kill one enemy that could have been avoided).
  • DirkSteele1

    DirkSteele1  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    Serious skills. Videos like this remind just how inadequate I really am as a gamer.
  • Sinosaur

    Sinosaur  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    There's something about watching someone play Mario and keep dodging the coins that drives me a little bit crazy.

    "NO! YOU NEED THE COINS! THEY'RE RIGHT THERE!"

    This obviously requires a lot of skill... and the murdering of age old impulses.
  • Ravenbom

    Ravenbom  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    OMFG.
    Now I know that I've wasted my life.
  • ConservativeGamer

    ConservativeGamer  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    @wittynickname, I am with you on that one, tense as hell when he was stuck between the two.
  • TanookiMan

    TanookiMan  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    7:15- I was wondering how he was going to avoid getting a coin on the last bowser castle. I also enjoyed 3:23, goomba to make the jump without grabbing a coin. Very cool!
  • wittynickname

    wittynickname  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    Patiently weaving between those last two hammer brothers in 8-3 is a highwire act. I'm surprised at how tense I was, just watching it.
  • Shanetexas

    Shanetexas  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    Man, 8-3 mad skillz y'all
  • eliguy83

    eliguy83  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    Lmfao @ NotEntirelySue. @Vitreosity: Nevermind Mario Bros., now *that's* a challenge.
  • Manguy17

    Manguy17  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    I managed to beat DNF with the lowest possible score, by selling it.
  • rabidpotatochip

    rabidpotatochip  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    I'm impressed. I know this sounds silly but I'm serious when I say it: imagine how hard it would be to _avoid_ collecting and stomping enemies, going against what's been ingrained into our brains for over two decades.
  • Tomsta666

    Tomsta666  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    Now try and beat it in less than 5 minutes...
  • Hobogonigal

    Hobogonigal  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    *NotEntirelySure, whoops my bad.
  • Hobogonigal

    Hobogonigal  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    Kudos my friend, excellent skill and persistence. And I mean both NotEntirelySue and you Gorlack312.
  • jackthemenace

    jackthemenace  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    Man, that guy's good. At being bad. Ah, you get it. That'd take some serious gameplay, you'd have to be playing totally perfectly for the whole 8 minutes, or however long, due to his cutting of time wasting, but that'd be HARD. One mistake, and He'd have to start all over again :P
  • kor2disturbed

    kor2disturbed  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    Good God! This guy has some serious skill.
  • Vitreosity

    Vitreosity  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    @Gorlack312 I'm impressed, but you know what would really take the cake?

    Eat exactly ONE Lays chip.
  • shinyscizor93

    shinyscizor93  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    @Gorlack312 I applaud you, good sir. You have a stronger will than I.
  • super0sonic

    super0sonic  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    Oh wow that's really neat.
  • Gorlack312

    Gorlack312  - 10 months, 1 week ago  - Report

    I've opened a bag of Funyuns and only eaten ONE ring, before setting the bag down and waiting a whole five minutes before tearing into it. Yeah, I'm hardcore.
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