Low-scoring Super Mario Bros run carries hope of humanity through bleak days

How to impress with a poor score on an ancient game

The Space Shuttle is on its final mission, and with it the dreams of a generation prepare to go to ground. Economies worldwide hang in the balance as unemployment in the US and UK skyrocket. The world holds out for a hero: sure, soon, and larger than life. And true to form, the Internet hears this desperate cry and puts forward a champion in the form of YouTube's own NotEntirelySure, whose Old School Gaming Feats include scoring 600 points in Super Mario Bros for the NES. No, wait, that's actually really impressive.

“Here I achieve the (almost) lowest score possible in Super Mario Bros for the NES,” explains NotEntirelySure humbly. Well, no, the lowest possible score is actually zero – unless, of course, what you mean is that you've completed the whole damn game without losing a single life and managed to kill as few enemies and collect as few bonuses as possible, as well as running out the clock on every level (the skipping of which is the only way the video's been edited) and doing everything else to minimize your score. In which case, he’s actually managed something that, face facts, you almost certainly couldn’t do, at least not without dubious tactics (in 2010, a Chinese player achieved a 500-point runon a rather doctored-looking version of the game).

Is this a feat that impressive? Does it, just maybe, restore your own bruised hope for our beleaguered civilization? What unorthodox feats have you accomplished lately, friends?

Jul 12, 2011


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