Videogames are supposed to be fun, right? That's why we play them. That's why we sink endless hours and countless dollars into them. Because we enjoy playing them, correct?
You certainly wouldn't know it by watching these people. They punch television screens, they hurl keyboards in their friends' faces and they make their mothers cry. They speak in a mixed language of unprintable curse words, juvenile whines and furious grunts. In other words, they act as if they'd rather be doing ANYTHING other than playing a videogame.
As a public service, we've gathered these truly special moments in boorishness together. Consider it a gallery of bogeymen, placed here as a warning. The next time you're feeling angry or frustrated at a game, stop, think and remember - it's supposed to be fun. Lose sight of that simple truth and you'll just end up looking like these morons. After all, they're not alone... they're just the ones who got caught.
Caution: The following videos contain highly explicit language and seriously stupid behavior. You might want to plug in some headphones... and swallow some aspirin.
Anyway, on with the show.
Idiot #1 - Halo Crybaby
Finest Moment - Attacking his own television, then immediately caressing it with regret.
This first video is not terrifying because of the torrential avalanche of profanity, or because of the dangerously violent anger on display, but because of how relatable it is.
The cursing. The kicking and screaming. The completely pointless middle finger to the television. We're ashamed to admit how much of that behavior we recognize in ourselves. Of course, the floor pummeling and screen slapping are a bit extreme, but still... Is this how ridiculous we look? Now that's scary.
Above: "F***in' blue screen! Standby! Bitch!"
Idiot(s) #2 - Swedes Gone Wild
Finest Moment - Physical assault... over a game?
Want proof that Americans aren't the only violent and obnoxious nationality in the world? Look no further than the movie below, in which various Swedish Counter-Strike players attempt to murder their computers... and each other. Somehow, though, the sight of grown men smashing keyboards and knocking over monitors is more charming than irritating when it's done in a foreign language. Go figure.
Above: "Du översätt den här? Gratulationerna, utom där er nej värdera högt."
Idiot #3 -Romanian WoW Tyrant
Finest Moment - Assuming his guild is so helplessly stupid that they need "odd" and "even" numbers explained to them.
Okay, this clip requires a bit of setup for the uninitiated. The "DKP" mentioned refer to "dragon kill points," a form of guild reward and punishment, while the "DoTs" or "Damage over Time"...
Oh nevermind. Honestly, we don't need to know the definitions for any of the obscure terms used in this epic and infamous rant. We don't even need to know what game it's from. If we have to play with this guy, who seems to confuse gaming with the military and leadership with bullying, we'd rather read a book.
Above: "Throw more dots, more dots, more dots, come on more dots. Okay, stop dots."
Idiot #4 - Cloudsong Victim
Finest Moment - Reaching such a high pitched whine that only dogs and small children can understand what the hell he's so upset about.
The lack of video actually helps this audio recording - in which a Dark Age of Camelot player loses a rare item - reach greater heights of absurdity. What did the mysterious screecher look like at the time of the crime? Was his face turning a brighter and shinier shade of red with each soprano syllable? Did his eyes bulge? Were flecks of Doritos flying off his lips in a fireworks display of impotent rage?
Listen and let your imagination run wild.
Above: "You say one more f***ing thing, I'm gonna find out where you live and I'm gonna break your f***ing nose!"