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The Top 7... Lazy Character Clichés

Copy, paste, unoriginality! The most overused archetypes of all time

Words: Charlie Barratt, GamesRadar US

Description: Hmm. Perhaps we judged the whole helmet thing too quickly. If these are the mind-numbingly monotonous faces of the future, we'd rather they remained hidden. Soldiers, engineers, prisoners, Jedi, whatever - if they live amidst the stars, they share the exact same, dull appearance. The lack of gravity tends to remove all trace of individuality as well, ostensibly so players can fill in their own personality. Have fun doing the developers' jobs for them!

Common characteristics:

  • Buzz or crew cut to keep troublesome hair out of the way of important space business.
  • Strong hairline, however, reminds us that these guys could totally grow a full head if they wanted to.
  • Liberal sprinkling of uber macho stubble.
  • Perfectly proportioned square of a skull with chiseled cheek bones and epic jaw.
  • Military garb recognizable despite completely different century and/or universe.
  • Cigars and Castro caps mandatory for all high-ranking officers.
  • Blank mannequin expression. No smiles allowed.


Possible Inspiration:



Wait a second...


The Antidote:

We thought about including Duke Nukem in the collage above, but c'mon - look at the guy! That blood red tank top. That curled snarl. That impenetrable wedge of neon blonde tresses. That pair of unapologetically 1980s sunglasses. Duke Nukem may be a Buzz Cut Space Dude, but he's a buzz cut space dude with some serious flavor.


 
53 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
CuddlyBomber  - 1 year 2 months ago 
Ah Man i just listened to talkradar11 and the top 7 was hilarious.
MSCR  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Pretty good article, a bit preachy sometimes and I fail to see how that raziel thing is a prettyboy. Moody and shit sure, but the guy runs about naked, has no visible genitals and isn't half his face missing?

Other than that, pretty insightful stuff.
Coolbeans69  - 1 year 1 month ago 
That was pretty funny
Psyrate  - 1 year 1 month ago 
The truth has never been so hilarious.
melloe  - 1 year 19 days ago 
well done. but you forgot Samus in the collage of masked characters?
Major_Wuss  - 1 year 3 days ago 
LOL at including Viva Pinata in the Animal with Attitude page.
NeotericDope  - 11 months 14 days ago 
All of these fall into the antidote category:

Black stereotype antidote:Eli Vance (Half Life)

Half naked woman antidote: Alyx Vance (Half Life), Faith (Mirrors Edge), Zoey (Left 4 Dead)

Masked men antidote: (Mega Man) not completely masked, but he's covered in a helmet and owns.

Love interest antidote: Once again Alyx Vance (Half Life)
crustdbeat  - 11 months 14 days ago 
forgot about jax from MK,

they emphasize his arms a tad dont they?
crustdbeat  - 11 months 14 days ago 
Thanks for the wallpaper!!
Cwf2008  - 10 months 26 days ago 
Uh technically Samus isn't always masked. I mean they've shown her face a few times in some of the games
zeldagirl64  - 10 months 3 days ago 
I dunno, Zelda has managed some good emotion from Ocarina of Time and on. Tetra? Yea, the cocky one. Sheik was a cliched character. It was kind of the Brooding Pretty Boy only... Sheik is Zelda so she's a girl. But Zelda has managed more emotion in Twilight Princess, that wasn't SO frail as usual.
93bleach  - 9 months 29 days ago 
Every character in sonic ever has had an atttitude.
synthetictwist  - 8 months 15 days ago 
I'm glad Chell was on this list. "She's not an effing model? What was Valve thinking?"

Oh that's right. They WERE thinking.
td823934  - 8 months 6 days ago 
You forgot "Mute Adventurer". Like Crono. Or Link. Or Mario.
ryno  - 8 months 5 days ago 
i couldent agree more with ammy from Okami she is awsome
Mr.Epic64  - 8 months 1 day ago 
Actually, Mario says "Yahoo!", "Here We Go!", "Wa, Wa , Wa, WAHOO!", Oh no!" any many other things. Eat that td823934.
Danomeon  - 7 months 20 days ago 
I'm surprised the antidote for stereotypical black people wasn't Luis from left 4 dead. He is skinny, never uses slang or excessively swears, speaks perfect english, appears as a hardworking citizen, is scrawny and not all that muscular, has a positive attitude without saying, "I am awesome.", cracks a few clever jokes, and is completely dressed in fancy office clothes.

Another character would be the black man from the Half-life series (I can't remember his name, one of his legs is missing and he *SPOILER* dies at the end of episode 2.)
td823934  - 7 months 1 day ago 
Ok, Mr.Epic64, he makes sound. I apoligize. But does he ever say anything beyond the occasional onamatopeia? By the way, while I'm here, I just realized something. You missed another category, the "Arrogant Bad-guy". Let's see, there's M. Bison, Seth, Vega, wow, all Street Fighter characters. Maybe I've been playing too much.
td823934  - 7 months 1 day ago 
On a side note, Knuckles actually belongs in the "Brooding Pretty Boy" category as well, I noticed.
kittens  - 5 months 15 days ago 
I've got to admit, I love the masked mystery man. The sort of half robot cyborg ninja thing will always be cool. In mgs, I didn't really like Raiden until he became a cyborg ninja. Mostly because his jaw was metal, which is awesome.
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