Eight silly ways to amuse yourself in Home

Because there's bugger all else to do

Yes, it's childish. Yes, it's puerile. Yes, in an environment filled with PS3 fans it's like shooting large fish in a thimble-sized barrel using hand grenades. But remember, you're being ironic, so it's okay. See how long you can ignite the flames for with the bare minimum input. We've managed about 5 minutes with only a single sentence.

Use Home's clipping issues to make a case for boob molestation. Using a female avatar, find another Homer scrolling through their options in the PDA, then just back into them, through their arms, to create a 'special' kind of hug. You know, the illegal, now-you-have-to-sign-a-register kind.

If conversation gets a bit predictable (and it will), spice things up with some good old fashioned crazy talk. We find that it's easy to reel in a curious Homer by standing facing a corner, Blair Witch-style. Once the concerned party makes contact, start with the asylum-speak. Sporadically spinning around on the spot completes the effect beautifully.

Given the disproportionate gender balance in Sony's HD sausage fest, a female avatar will guarantee you mass attention within seconds. The best way to use that power? Punish people for being so damn shallow. Start dancing, attract some flirtatious male attention, then suddenly switch to another avatar save slot, preferably one containing a big fat ugly man-creature. They'll regret the lack of a sprint button immediately.


Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.


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