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E3 09: The Top 7... crushing letdowns in E3 history

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Contrary to what you might think, E3 isn’t all brilliant new games, booth babes and free beer. A lot of the time the biggest, best and most exciting games event on the planet is actually as dull and hope-dashing as a graph-led press conference. And whether it’s dealing with console delays or waiting in a line (with enough BO to erode titanium) to play Wii Sports, the history of the event has been riddled with disappointment. So to temper expectations slightly ahead of this week’s extravaganza, here are the biggest letdowns in E3 history.

We’ll be honest. When the DS and PSP were both unveiled within a few hours of each other there was only one horse we wanted to bet on. Slick, sleek and sexy, we couldn’t have guessed Sony’s promising handheld was destined to become the home of a defunct movie format and way too many arthritic PS2 ports. That’s why, when Nintendo unveiled their console that looked like a Fisher Price reject with all the power of an Easy-Bake oven light, gamers could hardly contain their mocking titters.


Above: Glad we didn't actually part with any readies betting in this race

OK, hindsight is a perennially ace thing. But, after witnessing the power of the PSP, it was hard to see how the DS was going to be a serious competitor for Sony's slinky bit of kit. There was little indication just how innovative and popular the seemingly underpowered system's touch screen was going to be. And, ultimately, what many Nintendo fans took away from the reveal was an underwhelming 64-bit console (with a gimmick) trying to face a multimedia handheld that was as powerful as a PS2.


Above: Dual screen action wasn't quite met with mass approval

‘In the end he will suffer. In the end we will triumph. In the end… there will only be a hugely anticlimactic 60 second, gameplay-free trailer for PS3’s most anticipated title.’ So Zeus should have bellowed from the top of Mount Olympus after arguably the most disappointing reveal of last year’s E3.

We didn’t want much, really. A few screenshots here. Maybe a little hour long playable demo there. We went into Sony’s 2008 press conference frothing at the mouth, our thoughts drifting to Kratos’ high-def abs of granite and 1080p Gorgon decapitations. We left with a minute of totally arbitrary plot information. A missed opportunity of mythical proportions by Sony, then.


Above: Not for us at last year's event

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49 comments

  • kerfuffled_brizzle792 - June 1, 2009 10:52 a.m.

    Holy crap my first first. Great article by the way. I totally agree with the DS one. I never thought that it would have overtaken the PSP.
  • The_Tingler - June 1, 2009 11:14 a.m.

    To misquote Bill Bailey and Simon Pegg in Spaced... "Wii Music was 12 months ago, GamesRadar!" "I know, but it still hurts!"
  • RonnyLive19881 - June 1, 2009 noon

    There is an updated form of those hand driers at my local theater. So powerful that it could dry your feet if necessary Lol.
  • Hurricrane - June 1, 2009 1:43 p.m.

    ahhh yes, memory lane tends to be a painful place...
  • Unoriginal - June 1, 2009 1:48 p.m.

    Will we be getting a new Secret E3 Diary? Please? Anyway, Im putting the bar low for this year. Can't imagine it being worse than last year.
  • may.be.vital - June 1, 2009 2:13 p.m.

    Cammie Dunaway should go die in a hole! D:< Reggie can stay he's cool if he isn't talking about smiles... Thats not something your good at when you look like The Terminator swallowed a fridge...
  • fionnoh - June 1, 2009 4:04 p.m.

    what ever happened to kicking ass and taking names, regie?
  • NipplesTheSuperHippo - June 1, 2009 4:10 p.m.

    Lol, that was a nice twist of having the most crushing ltedown in E3 history be . . . I'm not that much of a jerk; just read the article. But #1 I agree with the most. Good work.
  • Ocelot - June 1, 2009 6:06 p.m.

    of course, i think we all know that E3 2008 was in fact a metaphor for AIDS
  • GwaR - June 1, 2009 7:49 p.m.

    Reading through your paragraph on the Wii Music disaster made me LOL all over again just like I did the first time I read about it. Great article.
  • Defguru7777 - June 1, 2009 8:20 p.m.

    Comment, not article. Shit!
  • Samael - June 1, 2009 8:58 p.m.

    I really hope Cammy doesn't show her saccharine smile at this tomorrow at Nintendo's conference. I hate her so much.
  • yoreAtowel - June 1, 2009 9:35 p.m.

    roflulz, that pic with the guy crying shooting mario is hilariously priceless. "looks like im guna have to put you down, whaaa haaaa haaaa haaa"
  • pikachu2000 - June 1, 2009 11:34 p.m.

    I can't wait to see what kind of bitchcraft Nintendo has up its sleeve this time. I heard that it gonna be another mindless Mii game and the Miis will be the only Nintendo mascot appearing for the rest of the Wii games. Microsoft and Sony better step up now and send family entertainment back to hell where it belong. Hold on to your #@&!ing seats.
  • DagDabreemie - June 1, 2009 11:38 p.m.

    I hope there will be a follow-up to this article: The Top 7 Greatest Brilliant Moments or Revelations in E3 history. These Snake Oil Salesman at these here trade shows better take or learn a lesson from GM - Just give the people what they want!
  • KillerPotato - June 1, 2009 11:59 p.m.

    E3 used to be something you would look forward to...what the hell happened?!?! I mean Wii music WTF?!?
  • Grenade - June 2, 2009 2:17 a.m.

    The God of War III trailer WAS action packed, and it WAS gameplay. I don't know what you're talking about. Also, I'm sick of people complaining about the price of the PS3. You pay thousands of dollars for huge ass televisions but you won't pay $600 for video games, Blu Ray functionality, internet and an online store for buying demos and games?
  • Fancy Rat - June 2, 2009 7:49 a.m.

    You didn't mention anything about the Sony exec telling people that they were stupid for thinking that $600 was too much for a PS3 and that we should work harder for it. Didn't he also say he wouldn't be surprised if games were $100 a pop too?
  • AuthorityFigure - June 2, 2009 9:18 a.m.

    What about all those people still waiting for Super Mario 128! Hahaaa...
  • Nessrox - June 7, 2009 4:06 a.m.

    the cammie lady is such a Palin. :/ Who chose her to be a spokes person?

Showing 1-20 of 49 comments

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