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Destroy All Humans! Path of the Furon review

Disappointing
AT A GLANCE
  • Interesting (if underutilized) weapons
  • Psychokinetically throwing cars
  • About 10% of the jokes
  • Missions aren't very good
  • Graphics & multiplayer are meh
  • Terrible sense of humor

Destroy All Humans! Path of the Furon reminds us of the holidays. Unfortunately, it reminds us of Uncle Dennis, who used to show up unshaven and smelling of bourbon every Christmas, call grandma a slut at the table as a “joke,” then go home early to watch a fuzzy, black and white TV. It doesn’t know how it should look or behave, it can’t tell crass insult from actual comedy, and it’s perfectly fine being behind-the-times technologically.



DAH: Path of the Furon’s open-world gameplay is just good enough to demonstrate how good the game could have been, but definitely isn’t. Crypto has all of his trademark abilities: He can read or control humans’ minds, throw things psychokinetically with his brain, and freeze time. Add that to a huge arsenal of handheld weapons and a flying saucer that can level entire city blocks, and you have an alien who is well equipped to dominate the world via all sorts of different missions. And it starts off with Crypto facing off against ‘70s mobsters in a Vegas-type city before moving on to fake Hollywood, China and beyond. Which means fun for you, right?

Wrong. Most of Crypto’s fancy weapons are redundant, useless, or just not as good as your basic weapons. The open world is unneeded because there’s really not much to do other than the clearly marked missions. Speaking of which, the missions fall into only a few categories – shoot these dudes, bring me this many whatevers, melt this building, escort this guy somewhere – and become redundant too quickly. And the mini-games you’re forced into to unlock new landing zones for your saucer? Remind us why that’s worth our time?

Unfortunately, Destroy All Humans: Path of the Furon also seems to be suffering from “It’s four months from being close to finished, but let’s put it out anyway and put it out of its misery”-itis. It’s all just a little too low-fi for a 360 game, and it’s also packed with graphical glitches, choppy movement, buildings that pop into existence suddenly, blurry textures and just general sloppiness.

This brings us to the humor: There really isn’t any. Destroy All Humans! Path of the Furon’s awkward, sluggishly paced cut scenes are obviously aiming for dark, humorous satire, but they usually miss the mark completely. Instead, we get sophomoric, potentially offensive tastelessness, if not straight up racism. Even if one joke makes you smile, the next five will contort that smile into a pained grimace. It’s like going to a diner and waiting an hour for a burger that’s one bite of juicy beef and six bites flame-grilled cow patty. And frankly, that’s a meal we could do without.

Right about now, you may be thinking, “well, perhaps the multiplayer modes will still be worthwhile.” Nope. They aren’t. They’re just minigames. Avoid this one unless you’re a sucker for dickhead aliens. The Path of the Furon leads straight to disappointment.

Dec 15, 2008

More Info

Release date: Dec 09 2008 - Xbox 360 (US)
Available Platforms: PS3, Xbox 360
Genre: Action
Published by: THQ
Developed by: Sandblast
ESRB Rating:
Teen: Animated Blood, Crude Humor, Drug Reference, Language, Sexual Themes, Violence

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18 comments

  • HarleySHumphrey - February 7, 2009 5:59 p.m.

    Hey just because you think this is a bad game doesn't mean that everyone else out there can't enjoy it. As far as alien games go, this is the best series out there for killing humans and having fun doing so. So the game is glichy, SO IS EVERY OTHER XBOX GAME OUT THERE. DER. Try just try playing a game online without it gliching. Kay? Think about that. Dont put a game down just because you dont like. Go cry to your mama because you dont like the game. Grow the F up dude. A game is gonna be bad. So try again. I loved this game, because Crypto and Poxy are this shiznit. Poxy is also Zim, from the Invader Zim tv show.
  • goldrob3000 - December 28, 2008 12:16 p.m.

    i hate to say it but i think it was scored right i dont care about the glitches the missions the story all i cared about was playing with a friend and just going around for hours destroying humans but if what i read on this site and others about only being able to play multiplayer mini games and not co-op sandbox style its not worth buying for me and they would of had a awesome game if they didnt drop the original creators pandemic studios and pick up sandblast to make it how did they even expect the fans of the first 2 made to like 1 that isnt made by pandemic and if they are planning on making a 4th they better get pandemic back or im gonna pass on it to
  • jerod209 - December 27, 2008 8:45 p.m.

    that game is awesome? why the **** do you guys hate it?
  • JH1ZZY94 - December 17, 2008 12:51 a.m.

    i agree with misfit119, the first 2 were great, but i rent game, i rented this one, and, they could have done so much better, dnt buy shit games just becuz u liked the ones b4, play the old ones
  • misfit119 - December 17, 2008 12:20 a.m.

    It's thinking like that Gourdmaster that lets companies release garbage sequel after garbage sequel for series. "Well the first one was great, so I'll buy the third one even though it's garbage." They know people will do this so they can release sub-par games anyway while still making a profit. This is why I rent games instead of buying them when they're getting hammered in reviews. I refuse to support a company that just doesn't care to release quality product.
  • octagons - December 16, 2008 1:59 a.m.

    blast I was hoping this would be a good game like the original.
  • midna365 - December 15, 2008 9:59 p.m.

    why crypto why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Bigpapa360 - July 8, 2009 4:14 a.m.

    This game had so much potential that it actually makes me sad. I dont quite understand why Pandemic just let it go to some company named Sand Blasted. Im pretty sure its just a bunch of monkeys sitting in a room with computers and eventually they just happened to put a game together. The Guns and Powers are clearly the best part yet the developer seemed to just say "fuck it" and built a bunch of "Race" missions that are so goddam tedious I actually quit playing it for a little bit because of them. I really hope the next one is going to be made by another company and hopefully brought back to the standards of its predecessors. I give it a solid 4/10. Its not amazing but If your looking for easy achievements and the possibility of some fun from just destroying shit, you outta like it
  • Superirish19 - March 29, 2009 12:17 p.m.

    i wonder if the companys who made the game are working as good as the playstation 2 companys that made DAH1&2 so great.(pandemic,to name one,instead of a random company nobody has ever heard of)they should sack to the company and get the old company in to remake it.
  • J1mMy94 - February 6, 2009 9:15 p.m.

    and i definatly agree wth gourdmaster
  • J1mMy94 - February 6, 2009 9:13 p.m.

    Dah = good Dah2 = really good Dah bg wly unlshed = k. Now although you say that this one is a comlate waste of money and is pointless i still think in my view that it wont be a let down the trailers for the new powers looked really cool and im looking foward to getting it. :)go crypto
  • Airhead - January 30, 2009 5:40 p.m.

    Crap. I'm still going to have to buy this anyway (just for the series [I mean seriously I'm buying Big Willy Unleashed and I don't even have a Wii]) and it is going to be crap. CCCRRRRYYYYPPPTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOO! I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!! (stupid captcha)
  • dingdin - January 29, 2009 4:03 a.m.

    its a fun game but the multiplayer sucks balls i was hoping they would have a deathmatch and i was disapointed with the disentergater ray.
  • GigaBowser12 - January 1, 2009 10:34 p.m.

    I will rent this out cos the first 2 games were ok.
  • Geigan - December 30, 2008 1:14 p.m.

    I think it wasn't much better or worse than the last ones. I think it should have been scored a little higher. But it was still bad because the developers didn't improve on the game at all really. If you liked the last two I say buy it, but this could have replaced the last couple of games and noone would've noticed. Still can't get enough of Crypto and Pox though those charming gray bastards.
  • MLGpirate - December 23, 2008 10 p.m.

    aw man what a dissapointment. oh well this article just saved me money
  • Gourdmaster - December 16, 2008 3:49 a.m.

    i dont care what they say im still going to play it because DOH 2 was one of the best games i have ever played
  • Defguru7777 - December 16, 2008 3:42 a.m.

    Crap.

Showing 1-18 of 18 comments

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