Barbarian/Death Sword (Commodore 64, Amiga etc, 1987)
Box art suggests: A Page 3 Girl (Maria Whittaker) in a teeny, tiny bikini, with macho muscles and weapons for the hero (played here by Wolf from Gladiator). All set in a backdrop apparently borrowed from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
The reality: Hand-drawn sprites crudely representing both muscle-man and bikini girl. And yes, her bikini is tiny, but '20 pixels big' wasn't quite the kind of skimpy we had in mind.
"Thanks, Big Boy," she says at the end. Er... no problem, love. Oh, by the way, have you got Maria's phone number?
Above: The promise of a poster was the clincher for many a red-blooded teenager. At least that one didn't disappoint