Completely unironic Cooking Mama spinoff ideas

Today, Majesco announced yet another giant leap forward for women: Crafting Mama. Okay, okay, there's nothing fundamentally wrong with crafting... or cooking, or gardening, but we think there's so much more that mamas can do. Like, for example, be mamas:

Above: Our idea is better

The press release is long and boring, as they generally are, so we've pulled out the most easy-to-make-fun-of bits:

"The extent of Mama's talents are limitless! She can hold her own in the kitchen and garden next to the world's best, but now Mama is poised to dominate arts & crafts too..."

Wow, holy crap, she can cook, garden, and "dominate" arts & crafts?! Limitless indeed. Majesco Chief Executive Officer, Jesse Sutton, drops the knowledge:

"Much like last spring's Gardening Mama, Crafting Mama combines the award-winning Mama formula of addictive stylus-based activities with a popular pastime that has been underserved in videogames."

Underserved in videogames? Crafts are non-existent in videogames, because, well, they're crafts... things you do when you have nothing else to do, like, I don't know, play videogames?


Oh well, the game will do great, and little girls everywhere will get their SUITABLE GIRL ACTIVITY fixes without actually doing anything, the same way we get our murdering fixes by playing first-person-shooters. Ow! Bastard! Jack Thompson just crawled under my desk and bit my ankle!

Here are a few more concepts for new "Mama" games which we think will definitely appeal to the female audience:





Mar 11, 2010


  • philipshaw - March 13, 2010 10:50 a.m.

    Yo mamma was the best, great aticle
  • Cyberninja - March 12, 2010 10:57 p.m.

    wow another quick cash in on little girls with ds
  • shinkeidei - March 12, 2010 9:08 p.m.

    I agree with capspatula, but maybe not for the same reason, thank you GR fro bringing this up, because we're become more and more numb and blind to what's happening to the industry and entretaiment in general. Companies are just dumbing down players and desecrating gaming by making these 'programing person to be a machine' bullcrap. Gamer girls, raise your voices and let those capitalist bastards know that you also enjoy good games...gamers stop buying these!!! Is becoming a cancer to gaming...'casual gaming' that is...I'm pro let-everybody-play but this...c'mon. I thought of another mama game: Frag Mama
  • CaptainSpatula - March 12, 2010 6:21 p.m.

    dear god this is the most funny yet most unfunny thing I've ever seen. lol @ Postpartum depression mama though
  • Rodpercent - March 12, 2010 12:28 p.m.

    This is great. I love the quote on the DS Mama
  • Unoriginal - March 12, 2010 10:57 a.m.

    Just got better and better the further down you went
  • VictorRay - March 12, 2010 7:08 a.m.

    ha. postpartum mama is baaaaad lol
  • Kenzo - March 12, 2010 4:01 a.m.

    yo mama was hilarious
  • Cwf2008 - March 12, 2010 3:56 a.m.

    ROFL Obama Baby Mama: "Brilliant!"-Fox "News"
  • sgloomy - March 12, 2010 3:55 a.m.

    is the postpartum depression mama a sequel to the accidental mama?
  • whiteknight1981 - March 12, 2010 3:03 a.m.

    Almost forgot. What about Domme Momma: Whip your man into a spineless wimp who loves to shop with you! Bonus minigame, Shop with hubby at Bed, Bath, & Beyond sale! Match your slippers to your shower curtain doilies!
  • whiteknight1981 - March 12, 2010 3 a.m.

    Ok, yo mama made me laugh out loud. That was awesome! Fir... No! I refuse to say it!

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