The best arcades in video games

So it’s the second level in Streets of Rage II and you’ve slugged through the streets, brawled in the bar and had a ruckus in the rain. Time for abusements in the amusements, eh? Eh? Oh, suit yourself. Anyway, here is an arcade complete with Bare Knuckle machines.

Why Bare Knuckle? Because that’s what Streets of Rage is called in Japan. Yes, now it makes sense! It's the same game. Or at least its predecessor. That's pretty awesome. Also awesome because you can chuck Galsia and his cronies into the cabinets and pick up the money left behind. Well, money and apples. To be honest, I doubt they trigger the credit mechanism.

The game begins with Duke playing as himself in his own video game, so it’s clear self-referential gaming nods are a goer here. It’s no surprise then, that you make it to an actual arcade and it’s full of nothing but Duke Nukem arcade games. Well, that’s not strictly true. It also has Duke Nukem pinball tables. Called 'Duke Nukem: Balls of Steel'. Hmmm.

It's hard to enjoy this particular arcade because you reach it while shrunk down to the size of a small kitten. Ironic, really. Playing with a small kitten would be infinitely more fun than playing Duke Nukem Forever. Oooooh! Zing!

The Fulci Fun Center is where all the cool kids at San Romero go after school to play video games. In fact, it's where the zombies go too. Bless 'em. They even say things like 'hit the button faster' and 'I need to level up', just like real arcade-goers don't.

It soon goes a bit Tron and so Juliet (who I am a little bit in love with, if I'm honest) gets sucked into the game world and runs around in 'Commodore 64' fashion for a bit. No, it isn't very good. But still... SPARKLE HUNTING! Feel better? See, I learned from Lollipop Chainsaw that 'SPARKLE HUNTING' elevates any bad situation back into the good times for a few moments, after which... well, you can always use it again. SPARKLE HUNTING! See? Feel free to use that.

The Carny level in HotD Overkill is a good 'un. Clowns at the funfair are pretty nightmarish in my book and I haven't even seen Steven King's 'It'. Apparently it has a clown in it. Ugh. But anyway, halfway through the level, you get to blast your way through an amusement arcade filled with classic Sega arcade machines.

Now, I would say: "Interestingly, the arcade machines differ between the Wii and PS3 versions", but to be honest, that isn't interesting to anyone. Although perhaps it is interesting that the Wii version has an arcade cabinet of Space Harrier II. Which (as I think you'll find everyone including your gran knows), was a launch game for the Mega Drive in Japan and never appeared in coin-op form. What a mistaka to make-a? Nah, we're getting granular. Erm... SPARKLE HUNTING?

The 'Left Behind' DLC for The Last of Us is predictably bittersweet when it comes to walking through an arcade. The power's still on, but the game Ellie really wants to play (The Turning) is broken. By the sounds of things, it was a Mortal Kombat rip-off with gory finishing moves and a Virtua Fighter-esque button setup.

Ellie may only have to imagine the game she's playing as her friend describes the action that would've been playing out on the screen, but it hits hard from the player's perspective. Having to respond to on-screen prompts to play the imaginary bout is both challenging yet strangely reminiscent of a real arcade. It's an ode to arcade gaming. And sadly, Ellie's feelings are familiar to anyone who misses arcades. Meh. It's OK, I'll just close my eyes and press some microswitches... (sniff)

Game Corner looks completely innocuous, doesn't it? Sure, there are people sat at the machines who never seem to move from their spot, inexorably pumping coins into slots, hoping for a jackpot that never comes. Sound like gambling? Yes, it does, rather. Which is why Game Corner is badass.

What do I mean? Well, look at it this way. European ratings board PEGI freaked out over the similarities between Game Corner and real gambling, forcing Game Freak to remove Game Corner from Pokemon Platinum. That means the act of frequenting an existing Game Corner and hanging out there is a rebellious statement the nanny state disapproves of. Rebellious youths? Wasting time and money? That makes it the most authentic arcade of all! Oh, and you can even find money on the undoubtedly sticky floor. Game Corner FTW.

There were several games that almost made the list, but didn't. Games like GTA: San Andreas, or Catherine. You know, the kind of game that has the odd arcade machine in it that you can play, but not actually proper amusement arcades. I could have put them in, sure. But then the content wouldn't fit the headline and you'd accuse me of not knowing what an arcade is, which would undermine everything I've been trying to say in these articles.

This surely concludes our little look-back at arcades (at least for the time-being), but if you missed them (the articles, not the arcades, though that will help too), do check out Where have all the arcade racers gone? and The best arcade games that never got ported to home consoles.