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80 games of 2010: SPOILED

Let's face it: You'll probably never actually get around to playing most of the games you wanted to play this year. And if you do manage to eventually tackle a game from your backlog, chances are some asshole has already spoiled the ending for you.

So let's take a proactive approach, shall we? Spoil them for yourself before your friends have the pleasure of spoiling them for you. It'll be quick and painless – like taking off a band-aid.

Additional contributions by Henry Gilbert, Cheryll Del Rosario and Tyler Nagata


January


Bayonetta
Bayonetta is the left eye. Cereza is Bayonetta. Balder is her father. Jeanne is good.

Darksiders

Abaddon is the Destroyer. War defeats him and summons the remaining three Horsemen to begin the Apocalypse.

Army of Two: The 40th Day
The nuclear bomb Jonah says is rigged to blow up Shanghai if he is killed is a bluff.

Dark Void 
Aliens provided the Axis powers with alien weaponry during WWII. Will escapes the Void.

Mass Effect 2



The collectors are protheans that the reapers genetically modified to use as a slave race. Shepard and team storm the reaper base successfully and discover a gigantic human-reaper hybrid.

No More Heroes 2
Travis defeats Jasper.


February


BioShock 2 
Eleanor either saves Sofia Lamb or lets her drown. Delta dies, and Eleanor either absorbs his ADAM and uses it for good, or absorbs and uses it for evil. Or she's just sad and doesn't absorb his ADAM, whatever. 

Dante's Inferno 


Above: Mildly NSFW for butt reasons

Dante sacrifices himself for Beatrice so she can ascend to heaven, which in turn bumps Dante up to purgatory for his good deed. Lucifer escapes hell in the form of a snake?

Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth 
Shih-Na is Calisto Yew, and she's not actually Cece's sister but an undercover Interpol agent, and actually even more secretly a member of the smuggling ring, which Quercus Alba runs. She also killed Byrne Faraday, Kay Faraday's father.

SOCOM: US Navy Seals Fireteam Bravo 3
The team destroys the cache of chemical weapons and kill Gozorof and they all celebrate by going on vacation together. D'awww. Lonestar is killed by a sniper though. 

Deadly Premonition
Sheriff George Woodman is the new raincoat killer. York is really named Zach. The red seeds really have supernatural power, and they come from trees grown out of a woman's stomach, specifically York/Zach's mother and Emily, who both die from the stomach trees.

Heavy Rain 
The origami killer is Scott Shelby.

Last Rebellion
From Wikipedia: NIS America's president, Haru Akenaga, stated that the game was "not the kind of title we should release in the United States because of its quality", and that he felt "really sorry for our customers because we released that title." 

White Knight Chronicles 

Kara is the Black Knight. Setti is Grazel is the Sun King is the ultimate leader of the evil Magi. Ends on a cliffhanger with Grazel rallying like a zillion troops to war for the glory of the Yshrenian empire.


March


Battlefield Bad Company 2 
Aguire double-crossed the squad to get revenge on the US for his father's death in Operation Aurora, but Kirelenko kills him anyway. But then Marlowe kills Kirelenko! The squad destroys the scalar weapon (yay) but then the game ends with Russia invading the US. 

Command & Conquer 4:Tiberian Twilight
Colonel James mortally wounds Commander Parker, but in Parker's dying act he helps Kane (who is an alien, btw) activate the Scrin tower with his optical implant. Kane ascends and disappears along with all the followers of Nod. The Tiberium growth abates.

Final Fantasy XIII



Fang and Vanille turn into Ragnarok together and save both Cocoon and Pulse by creating a giant crystal pillar to prevent the worlds from crashing into each other. Everyone's l'Cie brands are removed. Sazh and Dajh are reunited and so are Snow and Serah. Happy! 

Metro 2033
Artyom either destroys the Dark Ones with missiles, or he hallucinates and spares the Dark Ones, believing them to be peaceful.

Red Steel 2 
The hero kills Shinjiro, breaking his katana in Shinjiro's chest. Then he throws the other half of the katana off a cliff.

Sakura Wars: So Long, My Love 
The Star Division defeats Nobunaga but he manages to escape as his castle is destroyed.

Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey
The three endings depending on your alignment are:
-Law: Heaven takes over the world, freeing humanity of suffering but taking away free will.
-Chaos: The demon world prevails and humans retain their free will but live by only the law of brutality.
-Neutral: You complete the mission to destroy the Schwarzwelt and the world goes back to normal.

Just Cause 2

All the countries are fighting over Panau because it has the world's richest oil supply. Panay is killed – no, wait – he's still alive! Rico attaches him to a nuclear missile and aims it at the oil fields, destroying all the oil to end the conflict.



April


Dementium II
The evil doctor pulls William through a window (or was it a mirror?!?!) to continue torturing him (??). No clue what this means.

Dead to Rights: Retribution 
Jack kills Redwater. Shadow survives.

Nier
The people we think are humans are actually Replicants, which were bodily shells created to save the human race from a virus 1300 years ago, but gained their own sentience. Shades are what's left of the original humans who want their bodies back. Nier and Yonah are reunited, but in a subsequent playthrough Nier sacrifices himself for Kaine to save humanity.

3D Dot Game Heroes 

The hero saves the kingdom. The princess says they can be "friends."

Lost Planet 2 
The Over-G is destroyed, preventing another ice age. The mercenaries save the day.

70 comments

  • batman5273 - December 22, 2010 9:55 a.m.

    Very nice to have all the endings in one place!
  • PureSpirit - December 21, 2010 3:36 a.m.

    What was written about Birth by Sleep is wrong!!!! Terra got possessed by Master Xehanort, only Aqua was trapped in the realm of Darkness, but it's true about Ven taking a nap in Sora's heart!
  • AGENTJORRRG - December 19, 2010 9:51 a.m.

    Oh woah! No New Vegas!? Thankyou!
  • Snapp3r - December 17, 2010 9:49 p.m.

    Going to stop you on Front Mission Evolved there. What you've quoted is just the first mission. It ends with the main characters killing a big bad boss who didn't appear at any point through the WHOLE story :P
  • FazyRoss - December 16, 2010 10:14 a.m.

    Black Ops: Reznov hacks the brainwashing of Mason to stop him killing JFK
  • tabuju - December 16, 2010 5:18 a.m.

    LIES!!! ALL LIES!!!!!! THIS IS SO EVIL!! rararar!!
  • Gsindahouse - December 16, 2010 4:40 a.m.

    Wh..WHAT?!! Sonic Colors: Sonic defeats Eggman?!! I NEVER WOULD'VE GUESSED!! Mario Galaxy 2: Mario saves Peach from BOWSER?!! BAAHH!! FREAKIN BALLS!! I never woulda knew!! That's totally NOT how every sonic and mario game ended! I was expecting some sort of CONSPIRACY!! OR TOP SECRET ASSASSINATIONS!! I thought Amy Rose may have been a TRIPLE AGENT or something!
  • lovinmyps3 - December 16, 2010 1:06 a.m.

    Reach and Mario Galaxy 2 were hilarious!
  • Genericpenisjoketista - December 16, 2010 12:37 a.m.

    I'm surprised that I had the willpower to skip over Fable 3's ending. That was the only one, though. Aside from that, "Oh, Call of Duty: Black Ops... Alec does WHA--FUCK!!!"
  • oreopizza47 - December 16, 2010 12:10 a.m.

    Where the hell was the SPOILER Asian? I've come to expect him in all such articles around here. I was intensely saddened by this development. Great article though.
  • NightCrawler_358 - December 15, 2010 9:01 p.m.

    I was sad a RDR's ending, but then i found out you can kill Edgar Ross. It's so epic and gives such a good sense of closure. Greta list, Super Mario Galaxy 2 made me laugh, what a twist!
  • thedonut - December 15, 2010 5:53 p.m.

    What about God of War 3?
  • wiitard07 - December 15, 2010 4:52 p.m.

    Mason killed JFK?
  • icbacomingupwithapropername - December 15, 2010 4:47 p.m.

    The sc2 ending is great I only just got and finished that game but I am in love with the story line.
  • Gulabiguy - December 15, 2010 3:20 p.m.

    @MrDuracraft Halo Reach deserves 8/10 of a metal
  • davidm - December 15, 2010 3:14 p.m.

    No Vanquish?
  • Clovin64 - December 15, 2010 2:27 p.m.

    The Halo Reach one made me lol so hard. There were some brilliant endings this year, only some of which I could actually understand.
  • Cyberninja - December 15, 2010 2:27 p.m.

    crap i wanted to avoid seeing FF13's ending o well
  • Crabhand - December 15, 2010 2:20 p.m.

    @TruckThunders You would be surprised by how many people played the trilogy and didn't know Reach had fallen. And the Reach entry was my favorite. Caught me by surprise, and I've played through Reach and read the review.
  • papergoon - December 15, 2010 2:10 p.m.

    i like them 2 to 5 word endings XD

Showing 1-20 of 70 comments

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