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56 eye-melting screens of the most hilariously over-the-top bloom lighting in video game history

Nurse! Our eyes!

Words: on March 8, 2012
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54 comments

  • Snoochie - March 8, 2012 2:43 p.m.

    I was quietly amused.

  • kiing8kong6 - March 8, 2012 2:35 p.m.

    ROFLMFAOHTTPOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • ShaderMoogle - March 8, 2012 1:19 p.m.

    So I know people like to be "l33t" by crapping all over game graphics, but many of those scenes are perfectly reasonable to me, with a handful of the instances just looking like EA forgot to disable bloom on certain objects (like the ladder and shelves). I guess Dave here must spend every waking moment of his life enclosed in a room with its HVAC system plumbed to a five-deep bank of HEPA filters, because the way he's reacting to some of those screenshots it's like he's never looked at an industrial-quality HPS light in a dusty room, a humid room, or a foggy room. What's his next planned article, an exposé on Okami where he rants about how wolves don't actually have paint all over them, and how he's never seen anything cel-shaded in real life before? It wouldn't even be so bad, but by the tenth screenshot of some over-driven bloom on a door that should have had its emissive level tweaked downward, the entire article just started repeating itself. "Oh boy, another joke about the bloom level not corresponding to the matte appearance of the texture! Ooh, aah, another joke about crepuscular rays!" It's like he'd have developers crucified for deciding to take a stylistic bent with their post-processing, there isn't a font big and bold enough to express the "get a life" sentiment I'm feeling towards Davey right now. I guess it's a lot easier to write articles whinging about settings you can change than it is to actually work on a game, or god forbid write some HLSL code of your own, isn't it?

  • Jacko415 - March 8, 2012 1:40 p.m.

    Get over yourself hahaha.

  • Moondoggie1157 - March 8, 2012 2 p.m.

    Someone obviously has sand in their vagina.

  • snipes101 - March 8, 2012 3:43 p.m.

    Someone's lacking a sense of humor here. Wonder who it is ;) This article had me rolling by the way. HILARIOUS haha.

  • UbberMuffin - March 8, 2012 3:44 p.m.

    Its funny that you said Dave should get a life when in reality _ _ _ need a _ _ _ _ if your really are bitching and complaining about a comedic article on the INTERNET. I think you can fill in those blanks right? also here are the answers to the blanks : (you) & (life).

  • g4m3rk1dd - March 8, 2012 9:12 p.m.

    OR...maybe you just need your eyes checked :| this isnt acceptable...not even a little bit...

  • Weesnork - March 8, 2012 9:41 p.m.

    You do realize you're on Gamesradar not IGN right?

  • jmcgrotty - March 9, 2012 2:40 a.m.

    Or he was just having fun and at times resorted to hyperbole. Lighten up. (Wow. Didn't mean that pun.)

  • The_Tingler - March 9, 2012 8:46 a.m.

    Did you play the game? Ah, no, you didn't. 70% of the time I had to turn on the special vision mode just to see the enemies.

  • IceBlueKirby - March 8, 2012 1:11 p.m.

    Well, that settles it then - I refuse to play a shooter where I can't see the things I need to shoot. Hilarious article though. :D

  • jmcgrotty - March 9, 2012 2:44 a.m.

    Sometimes people say more than they need to. To wit: Everything after "shooter" in that first sentence didn't need to be said and additional words changes the intended meaning. Could have just said "I refuse to play a shooter." The way you wrote it, you're implying that someone should play shooters at all.

  • n00b - March 8, 2012 12:14 p.m.

    I love these picture articles

  • FortyVsZero - March 8, 2012 11:39 a.m.

    Great article Dave, gave me some serious laughs! Last 6 screens are the best thing I've seen in a while

  • FOZ - March 8, 2012 11:37 a.m.

    This isn't anything new for Starbreeze. Riddick's Eyeshine might as well have been called "Bloomvision," and apparently he sees everything through a fisheye lens.

  • kingsmikefan - March 8, 2012 11:07 a.m.

    Good God, why? Why? Thank you Houghton, for I know you share the same cause as me: destroy bloom lighting.

  • JSayonara - March 8, 2012 10:47 a.m.

    And God said "Let there be light" Then he saw this game and made a mental note to next time around install a dimmer switch.

  • Jacko415 - March 8, 2012 12:01 p.m.

    ^^Made me giggle

  • radiodeaf - March 8, 2012 10:31 a.m.

    yeesh... what a sad attempt at cheap lighting systems to cover whatever messed up graphics they have.

Showing 21-40 of 54 comments

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