Full Metal Jacket (1987)
The Insult: “It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!”
Use It In Real Life: See that traffic warden giving you a ticket? Give it a spin on him…
The Insult: “Fuck face… I like that one Erroll. I’ll have to remember that one next time I’m climbing off your mum.”
Use It In Real Life: Cut your belligerent step-son down to size with the aforementioned burn. Hey, he hates you already, right?
The Mist (2007)
The Insult: “The day I need a friend like you, I’ll just have myself a little squat and shit one out.”
Use It In Real Life: The next time your boss tries to cajole you into a lunchtime pint.
Gangs Of New York (2002)
The Insult: “I don’t give a tuppeny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit sack.”
Use It In Real Life: The next time you’re on the night shift at the Samaritans.
The Way Of The Gun (2000)
The Insult: “Shut that cunt’s mouth or I’ll come over there and fuck-start her head.”
Use It In Real Life: When your mother in law starts needling you about your failure to be promoted for the last five years.
In The Loop (2009)
The Insult: “You’re a real boring fuck. Sorry, sorry, I know that you disapprove of swearing, so I’ll sort that. You are a boring f-star-star-CUNT!”
Use It In Real Life: If you ever happen to find yourself stuck in a lift with Noel Edmonds.
Sexy Beast (2000)
The Insult: “Shut up, cunt. You louse. You got some fucking neck ain't you. Retired? Fuck off, you're revolting. Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin. We could make a fucking suitcase out of you. Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard. You look like fucking Idi Amin, you know what I mean?”
Use It In Real Life: If your bank manager tells you your credit rating is too low.
Bad Santa (2003)
The Insult: “You’re an emotional fucking cripple. Your soul is dogshit. Every single fucking thing about you is ugly.”
Use It In Real Life: If you’re stuck for words as your grandfather lies on his deathbed, you could always resort to the above. It’s always best to get these things out in the open…
Billy Madison (1995)
The Insult: “What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul.”
Use It In Real Life: On Twitter. Aim it anyone you like – you’ll probably find they deserve it.
The Ref (1994)
The Insult: “You know what Mom, you know what I’m going to get you next Christmas? A big wooden cross, so every time you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.”
Use It In Real Life: The next time your mother rebukes you for ruining Christmas.