Mario. You know him, you love him, and youve played all his games. Or have you? For a video game hero as iconic as Mario, there are bound to be a cavalcade of spin-offs, tie-ins, and generally obscure games that have his likeness slapped on them. Most gamers are familiar with Marios not-so-great moments - edutainment games like Mario is Missing or the abysmal Hotel Mario are legendary for their bait-and-switch tactics. Oh, you thought you were buying an awesome platformer? Psych! This game sucks (at least, for those who already know their ABCs).
BS Super Mario USA Power Challenge
Just understanding how this game came into existence requires a brief Nintendo history lesson. Its well known that the US Super Mario Bros. 2 was a reskinned Doki Doki Panic, which was then refurbished for the Super Mario All-Stars collection. But in Japan, our Lost Levels was their SMB2, so the Doki Doki knock-off was renamed to Super Mario USA. At the same time, a modem was designed for the Super Famicom to give it online access with a service called St. GIGA. This was called the Satellaview, and allowed for downloadable 16-bit titles; think of it as the pre-pre-precursor to WiiConnect24. Super Mario USA Power Challenge was one of the Satellaviews rare games, with a few changes from the SMB2 we know - you could only play as Mario, and there seemed to be mild stat-tracking elements. It also omitted World 3, for reasons we cant say.
Excitebike: Bun Bun Mario Battle Stadium
Long before Mario Kart Wii, Mario and company were already getting the hang of motorcycling in style. Another Satellaview title, Bun Bun Mario Battle Stadium took the gameplay of the NES classic Excitebike and spruced it up with slick 16-bit graphics and a much more relatable cast. This game was only available in Japan, and oddly enough, its status as a downloadable meant it could be updated. There were four updates in all, including a slap to Luigis face that replaced him with Yoshi (poor guy). In addition, a new coin-collecting mode let skilled bikers score unlimited boosts if their driving was on point.
Wrecking Crew 98
If you already knew that the nondescript star of Wrecking Crew on NES was actually Mario, you can safely award yourself some trivia kudos. But did you know that Marios days as a construction worker later spawned a Super Nintendo (or Famicom, if you will) puzzle game? This rare cart started out as a Nintendo Power exclusive before getting a full-scale release in Japan. Playing somewhat like Tetris Attack (which itself was a Yoshi-skinned rehash of Panel de Pon), the goal was to keep your side of the screen clear by demolishing concrete blocks with a hammer. And all we have to show for it now is an annoying Smash Brothers power-up.
I Am a Teacher: Super Mario Sweater
Mario games and efforts to educate dont really go too well together. But when youre the one doing the teaching, that changes everything. This is undoubtedly the least Super Mario title of them all, probably because it was developed by the Japanese sewing company Royal Industries. Less of a game and more of a knitting simulator, this Famicom title let you design a stitching pattern using your favorite Mario characters (though the Mario pictured on the packaging has a nose like hes been telling lies). Royal Industries would then produce the sweater for you in real life, provided you coughed up 2,900 yen (about $24 in todays dollars). How utterly bizarre.
Super Mario Bros. & Friends: When I Grow Up
Pictured, above left: Mario as a police officer, Luigi as a licensed fireman. This is the world we live in. Strictly for the tykes, this computer game took all the charm of Mario games and combined them with the premise of Kid Pix, the drawing simulator that was all the rage at the time. The scenarios depicted may not have been all that accurate or true to the games, and there were only 16 colors to choose from. But not every game can reach the heights of Mario Paint.
Mario Clash
Everyone safely assumes (correctly) that Mario made an appearance on the ill-fated Virtual Boy. But does anyone actually remember the name of this game? Mario Clash awkwardly tried to force a 3D perspective onto the style of the original Mario Bros. arcade game. Unsurprisingly, the resulting game was headache-inducing, with mundane gameplay and dreadful music. That said, if youve always hankered for a Mario game visualized in blood red and black pixels, this is your best bet.
Mario no Photopi
The Nintendo 64DD was Nintendos attempt to prematurely jump into the disc-based era of gaming and it didnt work out so well. Thats probably due to the fact that the few games capable of using it ended up like Mario no Photopi. That, and it made the N64 look like it was mounting a mate to procreate its plastic species. Photopi was essentially a photo album tool, letting you import your pictures, provided you stored them using a bulky SmartMedia card. Needless to say, this game never made it past Japans shores and even there, it was nigh unheard of.
Mario Artist
During his college years in a liberal arts school, Mario ditched his trademark cap for a beret and deemed himself an artiste. This developmental time in his life would produce the lovable Mario Paint on Super Nintendo but not many know of his darker, more experimental years as a visual visionary. Mario Artist was another N64DD title that was only released in Japan one that stayed there when Nintendo realized that nobody wanted to buy an MS Paint rip-off to push the boundaries of their 64-bit console. On the upside, you could morph yourself into a creepy Mario impersonator, like this young lady above. Hey, whatever floats your boat!
Mario's Bombs Away
Your eyes do not deceive you: Before he became a plumber, Mario was a veteran member of the armed forces. His service: carrying bombs back and forth between two practically adjacent huts, while soldiers in treetops tried to light the fuse and detonate the explosives in Marios palms. This ridiculously obscure Game & Watch title (right up there with Mario the Juggler) tells a piece of Marios history that he perhaps didnt want the world to know about. And if youre in doubt that this is the same overall-sporting jumper you know and love, the Nintendo logo at the bottom of the unit would like a word with you.
Punch Ball Mario Bros.
With a name like thatd, youd think Marios favorite pastime was perfecting the below the belt cheap shot. Its usually not a good sign when the name of a video game makes you wince in pain, but fear not - youve got the wrong idea. Punch Ball Mario Bros., boringly enough, is just a modified version of the original Mario Bros. arcade game, ported by Hudson Soft for early 80s PCs. Theres an added twist: Mario can knock around a brightly colored ball to stun incoming enemies, even if theyre on the same level. Can you imagine if later Mario games replaced the fireflower with bright red balls? That would just be nuts!
Mario & Wario
In America, Nintendo basically ignored the SNES Mouse after it came packed in with Mario Paint. But in Japan, they supported it with few more games, including the bizarre Mario & Wario. Being the jerk that he is, Wario continually blinds Mario by dropping items on his head. You play as the helpful fairy that leads the sightless plumber to the goal, where Luigi is waiting to pull off the sight-obscuring headgear. The game design foreshadows the Mario vs. Donkey Kong portable titles - but were still not sure why Mario needs help pulling a bucket off his own head.
Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix
After countless goomba stomps, koopa shell tosses, and Bowser thwartings, Mario has a lot of pent up energy. What better way to express that than by busting a move? Nintendo and Konami put two of their most famous franchises together to produce this rhythm game, which had Mario moving in time to songs from throughout his history. If you cant take our word for it, this video will confirm: You really would be better off never seeing Mario dance. His strangely feminine movements and stationary back-flips were never meant for the dance floor. Then againthis is the first time weve seen the portly plumber pull off a butterfly kick. On second thought, do your thang, Mario. But let us never speak of your Just Dance appearance.
