11 signs you're playing too much Skyrim

Not that we are, or anything. Nosiree

Skyrim's actually here! It's in our 360s and in our PS3s as we speak. The weekend flew by in a blur of dragon scales, fire spells and more than a little thievery. As our 10/10 review attests, it is everything we wanted it to be. But, as anyone who's played Tetris for more than a few hours in a couple of days knows, games can start seeping through into real life. So here are the tell-tale signs that you're possibly playing too much Skyrim and that you might be addicted to it.

1) When a dog bounds towards you, your first thought is 'kill it with fire'.

2) If you don't have a lighter, you resort to shouting 'BOOSH' at it.

Above: Please don't pick a fight with a dog. Everyone knows they can give you rockjoint

3) You deliberately destroy your most valuable possessions in the hope you can learn something from the broken pieces.

4) You empty your vacuum cleaner onto your cornflakes and note down the effect on your health.

5) You walk away from people mid-sentence when you find out they haven't got anything to sell.

6) Once you've made friends with someone, you're positive you can sell their possessions on eBay without being accused of stealing.

Above: Needless to say, if you look like this, you need to switch off Skyrim and seek medical advice

7) When you go for a run and get knackered after just a few metres, you assume it's because you're wearing the wrong necklace.

8) When something's too heavy to carry, you start stripping off clothes to see if that helps somehow.

9) When no-one's around, you tread softly anyway, hoping someone is around and unaware that you're treading softly.

10) You only glance at the first page of every book you find, certain that any useful knowledge in the other pages will be automatically absorbed by your mind.

11) If you see a dead rat or badger, you check the carcass for money and cut off its tail. To put on your cornflakes later.

If any of the above apply to you, just remember, you can always go back to a previous save before you played too much Skyrim. And instead, you could always read 10 signs you're playing too much Pokemon.


The longest-serving GR+ staffer, I was here when all this was just fields. I'm currently Reviews Editor but still find time to speedrun Sonic levels and make daft Photoshop articles.
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