10 movie tie-ins that nobody wanted

Films that didn't need to be made into games, made into games

Fight Club

Obviously nothing endorses the movie's anti-consumerism message quite like a cynical cash-milking tie-in. And with nary a supersonic incendiary punch in sight, the spectacle of nondescript (with the exception of Bob and his magnificent bitch tits) blue/white collar workers subjecting each other to reciprocal violence never felt inherently suited for a gaming translation. To paraphrase Tyler Durden: "This movie tie-in is just more shit we don't need."

Give My Regards to Broad Street

Without doubt one of the most baffling movie tie-ins ever made. Based on Paul McCartney's 1984 movie flop, in which Paul McCartney self-indulgently plays Paul McCartney as he searches for some missing Paul McCartney master tapes (yes, it's as terrible as it sounds), the game was a Commodore 64 and Spectrum oddity that appealed to no one besides Paul McCartney. First rule of making movie tie-ins: if the film bombs, don't bother.

Little Nicky

This is exactly what we're talking about. A film like Little Nicky is 90 minutes of entertainment. Nothing more. We watch and we move on to the next dumb-for-fun comedy that's doing the rounds. It's just not the kind of film we invest much time in. We don't sit around waiting for the 2D side-scrolling platformer to come along. Even if it does turn out to feature the only instance we can recall of a pixellated lady stripping down to her brassier on the GameBoy Color.

Jaws Unleashed

Everyone loves Spielberg's flick from 1975 about the hungry fish that loved to chew on swimmers, right? Well hello 30 years later and a movie tie-in that absolutely nobody was waiting for. Apart from maybe sharks. Did publisher Majesco not notice that the consumer feeding frenzy around the Jaws licence died around the same time as disco? We'd suggest that tie-ins should at least be released in the same decade as the film to really maximise those sales.

The Godfather

Holy Virgin Mary. Is nothing sacred? One of cinema's most epic, tightly-woven and sophisticated pieces of work given the game treatment courtesy of EA. It's like Nickleodeon having a crack at Tolstoy's War and Peace. Sure, if you asked gamers to list their favourite films, The Godfather would frequently crop up, but were any of them desperate to see it make the jump to derivative game form? Director Francis Ford Coppola described it as "a misuse of film." And despite thinking the game is decent enough, we'd have to agree with him.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I don't have the energy to really hate anything properly. Most things I think are OK or inoffensively average. I do love quite a lot of stuff as well, though.
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