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Kevin James is the titular keeper, an unlucky-in-love schlub who discovers that the animals in his zoo not only talk but dispense romantic advice.

After a bit of hysterical screeching, he accepts this astounding fact pretty quickly and forms an odd-couple bond with a grizzled ape voiced by Nick Nolte.

Nevermind how the animals learned to yak – the real question is who this loud, dull elephant dung is aimed at.

The simplistic slapstick targets kids, but lengthy sequences focused on James and his lady woes will bore adults, let alone young ’uns.

Do not feed the box office.