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Who would make the best Watch Dogs: Legion NPC?

(Image credit: Ubisoft)

You can recruit anybody in Watch Dogs: Legion, and this week's Big Question is about who you'd most like to pull into the ranks of DedSec. Who would make the best contributions to the cause of the London resistance? Who would have the best one-liners when they did stealth takedowns? And while Ubisoft has to worry about paltry things like copyright infringement when it's procedurally generating characters, that's no object for our writers' minds.

This is the latest in a series of big questions we'll be interrogating our writers with, so share your answers and suggestions for topics with us on Twitter.  

Basically Joker from Persona 5 

(Image credit: Atlus)

The Phantom Thieves really are a perfect fit for the rag-tag infiltration crew you assemble in Watch Dogs: Legion. They've already got masks, even. And their leader, Joker, has a gun and a dang grappling hook. You know what any competent gang of rebels needs? A cat burglar with a grappling hook. So I reckon I'd just make a British version of Joker. Actually, screw it, if Joker can come to Smash, he can come to London. 

A gun and a grappling hook would be more than enough for me, but this is futuristic authoritarian London we're talking about, so we'll spice up his toolkit a bit. Let's add in some smoke bombs and Molotov cocktails, both actual items in Persona 5 Royal. You know, just in case you wind up in a situation that you can't grapple yourself out of. Austin Wood 

Watch Dogs Legion already has my ideal NPC

(Image credit: Ubisoft)

Here's a thing some of you might not know about me, but I really really love skulls. Halloween season is a dream come true for me in terms of decorating, because I'm just fascinated by them. This slab of bone holds in one of the things that makes us human, and when you peel all the skin and sinews away, you're left with this rather beautiful thing. Now, while that might make me sound like some kind of serial killer, my aesthetic is more the Mexican Day of the Dead than Hannibal, which meant I was so pleased to see that one of Watch Dogs: Legion's headline playable characters was this blazer-sporting chap wearing a neon skull mask. Suddenly I don't really mind who's underneath that mask, because my DedSec army will all be wearing this amazing facade, regardless of how inconspicuous that makes them. Grannies, builders, police officers, hackers, that weirdo that lives down the street… Skulls for everyone.  And yes, I will be purchasing that collector's edition of the game that comes with the real-life replica - complete with LED crown - thank you very much. Sam Loveridge

Nameless Pigeon Character

(Image credit: Bossa Studios)

London is home to over one million pigeons. Watch Dogs Legion can't ignore that. In fact, if we're talking about legions, I'd say the city's pigeons have the right to claim that descriptive. Let me fly around the big smoke as a winged rodent, pooping on its denizens from on high like an angry avian demigod. It wouldn't be without its challenges either; you could make a mini survival sim out of the pigeon lifestyle, as players try to find food, avoid stray cats, and find a decent perching spot free from any anti-bird spikes. There's even ways to incorporate pigeon play into the story, with DedSec planting cameras into the birds as their eyes in the sky. Anyway, I'm available to hire as your new creative director, Ubi, and can't wait to hear from you soon. Alex Avard

My choice is a family affair

(Image credit: Hasbro)

Ben Affleck’s hairline, Luke Hemsworth’s eyes, Shannon Leto’s nose, The Duke Of Cambridge’s chin, Barry Gibb’s beard. The technical craft of Noel Gallagher, the dapper charm of Alec Baldwin, the deadpan in-ear delivery of Gary Neville. The effortless swagger and cool of Alexander Skarsgard. The social media pull of Kevin Jonas, the unflappability of Beau Bridges. The political kudos (and controversy) of Jared Kushner, the strategic acumen of John Harbaugh, the driving abilities of Michael Schumacher. The punch power of Vitali Klitschko, the intimidation factor of Charlie Kray. I give you the ultimate Watch Dogs villain. After much consideration I think I shall name him ‘Big Brother’. Ben Wilson 

Chloe Ferry from Geordie Shore

(Image credit: MTV)

The London of Watch Dogs: Legion needs a radgie from Newcastle, and Chloe Ferry is the perfect person for the job. Send her into a nightclub secretly run by the government in a sinister ploy to turn partygoers into Tories and let her loose - there's absolutely nothing anyone could do to stop her. Chloe Ferry is like a storm off the Northumberland coast - if the sea was made of vodka sodas and the coast was whatever she can get her hands on when she's blathered. I've seen this force of nature hurl a desk mirror through a double pane window, flip and shatter a giant glass coffee table, and do a split in a dress on the floor of Madame Koo's while blind drunk. If she gets caught while undercover she can just wee herself and babble in incoherent Geordie - she's untouchable. Oh, and I'd love to see what kind of outfit they'd dream up for her. Alyssa Mercante

The person behind the entire simulation

(Image credit: Ubisoft/Paramount)

So it turns out (it really doesn't but just roll with it) the universe where Watch Dogs: Legion takes place is actually a simulation, and my NPC is the mastermind. See, it was all just a big experiment to demonstrate the perils of mass surveillance, and things got a little out of hand. The one pulling the strings is a game dev turned politician running for a seat in parliament, desperate to prove the folly of his opponent's plan for "Smart Cities."

Thing is, Christof's an honest, decent man, and now he's got a moral dilemma on his hands. He's watched these virtual people form relationships, fall in love, and act righteously for causes he himself is fighting for now. He's proved his point about surveillance states being not good and he's the favorite in the election for it, but now he's faced with the difficult decision to continue laboriously programming the virtual world he's created for the rest of his life or pull the plug and end millions of virtual lives. He ends up shutting it down, but now he lays awake at night haunted by the cries of a world torn down with the flip of a switch. Look at him. Just utterly broken. Jordan Gerblick 

Sam & Max: Freelance Agitators

(Image credit: Telltale Games)

"Say, little buddy, isn't it bizarre that we can recruit anybody to DedSec? There has to be some kind of in-group that embraces the police state and wants to preserve its status quo or else the whole thing turns into a rudderless caricature of fascism with nothing substantial to say about the creeping dangers of a security state, don't you think?" "Sam, I asked you to stop critically analyzing statist satire before we even landed in Heathrow. But I just saw I have a perk that lets me control a spider-bot with a built-in Taser and now I have more important things to worry about than beating you with a commemorative Tower Bridge model. While I'm busy tormenting Beefeaters with my robot, I want you to think about what you've done." "Sure thing, pal." Connor Sheridan

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