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  1. Entertainment

The SFX Cabinet

Features
By Dave Golder
Published 7 May 2010

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We asked our friends on Facebook to help us form a new British Government cabinet from SF and Fantasy characters. Here are the results

Yesterday, while voting was going on, we asked people on the S FX Facebook page to help us from a new British Government Cabinet from SF and fantasy characters. Well, what else is Facebook for? And while there were a couple of suggestions along the lines of, “The whole British government is run by a bunch of Muppets anyway,” certain strong candidates did stake their claim on those cherished positions. So while we all wait for the horse-trading to finish in the real government, here’s how the country would be run in the United SFX dom…

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Prime Minister:

Lord Havelock Vetinari
Constituency: Discworld
The runaway winner (no really) was Ankh -Morpork’s head patrician, a man who had no problems getting into power in the Discworld city state. After all, the system there is “one man, one vote” and as Vetinari likes to point out, he’s the one man. A man whose political belief is “what the people want is never good for government”, he is technically a dictator, but a fairly benevolent, pragmatic one. Certainly, he would ensure a stable government, and is adept at making sure his enemies spend more time fighting each other than him.
Other strong candidates: Optimus Prime (mainly because he would then be Optimus Prime Minister) and Rupert Giles (clearly Anthony Head made a good impression in Little Britain ).

Foreign Minister

C-3PO
Constituency: Tatooine
Well, he’s good at all those languages isn’t he?
Other strong candidates: Gene Hunt (“You are surrounded by nuclear-armed bastards”), Londo Molari

Minister Of Defence

Tony Stark
Constituency: This side of the iron curtain
You could pretty much do away with the armed forces and rely on Stark’s iron alter ego and his ability to invent implausible weapons.
Other strong candidates: David Gemmell’s Druss The Legend (you wouldn’t want to be in his department when it comes to axing jobs), Ellen Ripley

Minister For Justice

Judge Dredd
Constituency: Mega City One
After all, he is the law
Other strong candidates: Alan Moore’s V (though they could end up spending the entire budget on renovating the Houses Of Parliament every five minutes), Sam Vimes

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Health Minister

Lucy Pevensie
Constituency: Narnia
Well, that cordial would come in handy
Other strong candidates: Any Star Trek doctor, the Doctor, Death from Discworld

Home Secretary

Gene Hunt
Constituency: 1982
We need a strong hand to return Britain to traditional values. You know the ones. They all end is “ism”.
Other strong candidates: Captain Britain

Minister For Education

The Doctor
Constituency: All of time and space, aka, Cardiff
“So, physics, eh? Physics, physics, physics. Physics, physics, physics, physics, physics, physics. Hope you’re getting this all down.”
Other strong candidates: Harry Potter, Indiana Jones

Deputy Prime Minister

William Riker
Constituency: The final frontier (we think that’s somewhere in Norfolk)
Always the bridesmaid…
Other strong candidates: Grima Wormtongue, Marvin The Paranoid Android

Chancellor Of The Exchequer

Quark
Constituency: Deep Space Nine
The first Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition would seem to pretty much be the motto of any good chancellor: “Once you have their money, never give it back.”
Other strong candidates: Vila from Blake’s Seven

Minister For Culture, Media and Sport

Elric
Constituency : Melniboné
Well, drugs would be legalised pretty darned quickly

Minister For Propaganda

The Hypno Toad
Constituency: New New York
All hail the Hypno Toad

Minster Of Love

James T Kirk
Constituency: Every port
Okay, there is no ministry of love, but we’d create one just for Kirk

Dave Golder
Dave Golder
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Freelance Writer

Dave is a TV and film journalist who specializes in the science fiction and fantasy genres. He's written books about film posters and post-apocalypses, alongside writing for SFX Magazine for many years. 

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