Bill Murray as Peter Venkman...
Why He’s Perfect: Perhaps more than any of the original cast, Bill Murray is the name most closely associated with Ghostbusters , which is why his periodic rejection of the idea of a third movie continually has fans wringing their hands and gnashing their teeth.
World-weary, cynical, constantly chasing the ladies, Venkman is the ultimate ‘80s antihero, and probably Murray’s best-loved role. A Ghostbusters movie that doesn’t involve him in some capacity would be nigh-on unthinkable.
Essential Scene: So many to choose from, given the raft of put-downs directed at his fellow Ghostbusters, but for our money, the best entertainment is found in his clashes with William Atherton’s EPA Agent. “That’s right your honour,” quips Venkman, “this man has no dick.” Priceless.
But if Murray’s too old to be running around with a proton-pack on his back…
Jeremy Piven as the Venkman...
Why He’s Perfect: We’re not entirely sure how old the “new” Ghostbusters will be, but for our money they should be in the same sort of age range as the original stars when they made the first movie.
Jeremy Piven fits that bill, and also shares Venkman’s sneering sarcasm and preening self-regard. We could definitely see him taking on Murray’s mantle, and it’s about time he bagged himself a leading Hollywood role.
Essential Scene: A handover scene between Piven and Murray would be a real treat. We’re thinking mutual loathing from the off…
But if Piven can’t do it…
Bradley Cooper as the Venkman...
Why He’s Perfect: He’s a bona fide action star these days, but as The Hangover showed, he’s got the requisite comedy chops too. Cooper has a certain dishevelled charm about him, and can come across as a bit of a shit on screen, both of which are excellent qualities in a wannabe heir to Murray’s throne.
Womanising, wise-cracking anti-hero? Sounds right up his alley to us!
Essential Scene: Cooper brings a date back to his apartment, only to find Slimer has trashed the place. Anything to get the little green guy back on screen!
But if Cooper can't do it...
Robert Downey Jr. as the Venkman...
Why He’s Perfect: The obvious concern would be that at 45, RDJ is a little too old to be part of a “new generation” of Ghostbusters. That said however, he’s the closest match to Murray’s brand of deadpan comedy we can think of.
In fact, there’s no reason why all the members of the new team have to be the same age, and Downey’s additional years could lend themselves to a world-weary, unwilling, elder-statesman role. It could work!
Essential Scene: RDJ is confronted by Venkman’s ghost, who remarks that he looks “kinda old for a Ghostbuster.”
Dan Aykroyd as Ray Stantz...
Why He’s Perfect: Akroyd is the perfect foil for Murray, offsetting his snide cynicism with a sense of childlike wonder. Witness his excitement over the fireman’s pole in Ghostbusters HQ…it’s impossible not to love him!
You would imagine that Aykroyd will be involved in some respect given how much he has spoken about the project, even if it’s only a cameo. With a bit of luck, it might be a bit more than that…
Essential Scene: No question, it has to be the Stay-Puft scene. Ray’s expression when he realises he’s responsible for the giant marshmallow man is priceless.
But if Akroyd’s hanging up his jumpsuit…
Seth Rogen as the Stantz...
Why He’s Perfect: Aykroyd has spoken about getting Rogen involved (alongside Judd Apatow as a potential director) and we reckon he’d be a good choice for the bumbling, Stantz-like member of the group.
We’re thinking of the shy, loveable side we saw in Zack & Miri and Monsters vs. Aliens rather than the brash, stoner persona he uses in most of his Apatow outings. Rein in the dick jokes and we could have ourselves the perfect Ray replacement.
Essential Scene: A recreation of the fireman’s pole scene! It’s our favourite Ray moment…
But if Rogen can’t do it…
Simon Pegg as the Stantz...
Why He’s Perfect: A slightly leftfield choice perhaps, given that Pegg is English, but he’s a big enough star in Hollywood these days to make it work. At 40, he’s another at the higher end of the age range, but he doesn’t really look it, so we can’t see it being a problem.
Pegg embodies the same loveable loser qualities that made Ray such a hero first time around, and we’ve already seen how he can handle himself against the living dead. A solid, geeky choice in our opinion.
Essential Scene: Pegg swings for a ghost with a cricket bat, only to realise that spirits are a little more elusive than zombies.
But if Pegg can’t do it…
Jason Segel as the Stantz...
Why He’s Perfect: Another from the Apatow crew, and another actor we prefer when he’s playing the nice guy rather than the wise-ass. Segel’s hapless loser in Forgetting Sarah Marshall would provide a good template for the sort of loveable idiot he’d be playing here. His lumbering frame could also lend itself nicely to some moments of physical comedy…
Essential Scene: A reprisal of the infamous ghost BJ scene. It needs reviving!
Harold Ramis as Egon Spengler...
Why He’s Perfect: The unsung hero of the original, Ramis’ obsessive scientist Egon is even more deadpan than Murray! Spouting incomprehensible technobabble with an entirely straight face, his are the lines you’ll laugh hardest at on a second or third viewing.
A stiff, stern presence, Ramis manages to wring plenty of comedy out of what could’ve been a fairly straight role. Bravo sir!
Essential Scene: The sequence in which he’s forced to babysit a possessed Rick Moranis is a hoot.
But if Ramis is over the hill…
Jermaine Clement as the Spengler...
Why He’s Perfect: Just look at him! It’s as if he’s modelled his entire look on Egon. Aesthetics aside, Clement has definitely got the requisite offbeat wit to make the role his own. Flight Of The Conchords throws up some distinctly bizarre material, but much of it is delivered in the deadpan style required for a good Egon. Definitely our first choice for the role!
Essential Scene: The closing credits over which Clement croons his own version of Ray Parker Jr.’s classic theme song.
But if Clement can't do it...
Jesse Eisenberg as the Spengler...
Why He’s Perfect: If Clement is our first choice, Eisenberg is the actor we reckon is most likely to bag himself a part as the geeky, serious one of the new team. After his stunning turn in The Social Network , Eisenberg is Hollywood’s go to guy for nerdy outsiders, and his Mark Zuckerberg had all the biting wit required to make a good Ghostbuster.
Naturally, his Egon would have to be a tad more likeable than Zuckerberg, but given his loveable loser schtick in Zombieland and Adventureland , that shouldn't be beyond him.
Essential Scene: When confronted by a shambling member of the living dead, Eisenberg and Pegg exchange a knowing glance…
But if Eisenberg can't do it...
Jason Schwartzman as the Spengler...
Why He’s Perfect: We half-considered him as a potential candidate for the Venkman character (if only for a potential re-team with Rushmore co-star Bill Murray) but on reflection we like him better for Egon.
He’s young enough to do it, plus he’s very much got the look of the character about him. He’d have to get that hair trimmed, but otherwise, the role would fit him like a glove. And whilst we’re at it, what about Wes Anderson to direct? Might be a good way of getting Murray involved…
Essential Scene: We’d like the original Egon back on board as his mentor. Maybe he could play Egon’s son…
Ernie Hudson as Winston Zeddemore...
Why He’s Perfect: Poor old Ernie. Having famously complained he didn’t feel part of the gang on set, he isn’t really given much to do on-screen either. That said, what he does do he manages to do with a sense of ineffable cool. If we were faced with a spook, we’d want Ernie on our side too!
Hudson was involved in voice-work for the recent Ghostbusters video game so maybe he’ll be back on the scene this time around. Don’t hold your breath though. He hasn’t done much film work in a while…
Essential Scene: His testimony as to the legitimacy of the Ghostbusters’ work: “I'm Winston Zeddemore, Your Honour. I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks, but these things are real. Since I joined these men, I've seen shit that'll turn you white.” Brilliant.
But if Ernie’s given up the ghost…
Anthony Mackie as the Zeddemore...
Why He’s Perfect: After playing the straight-man to good effect in The Hurt Locker , we reckon Mackie has the perfect blend of long-suffering patience and screen charisma (anyone who’s played Tupac has to be fairly cool) to repeat the trick here.
Essential Scene: The recruitment of Mackie’s character should happen at the same time as the other Busters. We don’t want one of the big four to be an afterthought this time around.
But if Mackie can’t do it…
Mos Def as the Zeddemore...
Why He’s Perfect: We’ve got a lot of time for Mos as an actor, particularly when it comes to injecting a bit of low-key gravitas into otherwise outlandish material. Be Kind Rewind is the perfect example of this, with Mos playing the weary foil to Jack Black’s constant clowning.
In fact, Mos already strapped on the proton pack in that movie (kind of), so he should know his way around the territory. Sign him up!
Essential Scene: A hip-hop remake of the Ghostbusters theme? We smell money…
But if Def can’t do it…
Romany Malco as the Zeddemore...
Why He’s Perfect: There’s no reason why the Zeddemore character has to play the straight man. In fact, we’d like to see him get his fair share of the funnies. If they do decide to beef up the role comedically, we’d like to see 40 Year Old Virgin star Romany Malco given a go.
He might be a little OTT for some tastes, but he’s hardly Chris Tucker on the irritant scale, and he’d bring plenty of energy to proceedings. If Apatow takes the helm, don’t be surprised to see his name mentioned again…
Essential Scene: A fast-talking dismissal of a dissatisfied customer. This Zeddemore has the gift of the gab, baby…
Rick Moranis as Louis Tully...
Why He’s Perfect: It’s a credit to ‘80s oddity Rick Moranis that he somehow manages to make an intensely irritating character on paper become bizarrely loveable. From the repeated sight-gag in which he locks himself out of his apartment, to his hilariously vacant spell as the Keymaster, Moranis spirits away some of the movie’s best moments from under the noses of his higher-billed co-stars. Scene-stealing of the highest order!
Essential Scene: Tully’s party, in which he sets about boring the pants off anyone who’ll listen to his endless chatter about acetylsalicylic acid and the best place to buy cheap Nova Scotia salmon.
But if Moranis won’t come out of retirement…
Masi Oka as the Tully...
Why He’s Perfect: When it comes to treading the fine line between smackable idiot and loveable nerd, nobody does it better than Heroes ’ Masi Oka. Like Moranis, he might sound like a royal pain in the arse at first, but he’s a grower, and actually becomes quite endearing the more you see of him.
If there’s room for another Tully-esque clown in the third film, Oka gets our vote to fill his shoes.
Essential Scene: After one “Ya-Taaaa!” too many, Piven cuts Oka down to size with a withering verbal volley. The effect is something akin to booting a puppy up in the air.
But if Oka can’t do it…
Christopher Mintz-Plasse as the Tully...
Why He’s Perfect: He’s a latter-day Moranis, that’s why! The tiny, bird-like frame, the glasses, the goofy grin…they could be father and son. In fact, that might be the best way to incorporate him into the new film. Mintze-Plasse as Tully Jr….sounds like a goer to us.
Essential Scene: If they could convince Moranis to return, what price the double-act between these two? Maybe Tulley Jr. could throw a party this time around, only for his dad to crash it half way through…
Annie Potts as Janine Melnitz...
Why She’s Perfect: Potts’ Janine is a superb comedy creation, an acerbic harpy who enjoys nothing better than having a good old moan. Unless Egon is around of course, in which case she changes her tune pretty sharpish…
We’d love to see Annie Potts return in some capacity, even if she’s no longer working for the Ghostbusters. Maybe we could see her shacked up with Egon…her fling with Louis Tully was a mere dalliance, surely?
Essential Scene: The majority of her telephone conversations are fairly chucklesome. “Is it just a mist, or does it have arms and legs?” is a particular favourite.
But if Potts isn’t coming back…
Zooey Deschanel as the Melnitz...
Why She’s Perfect: As we saw in 500 Days Of Summer , she’s more than happy to cut her admirers down to size, and she’d bring a flirty, feisty presence to the old firehouse (which we hope will be included this time around).
We can see the potential for some great sparring between her and Piven’s Venkman-a-like, whilst she and Jermaine Clement would make a suitably kooky couple.
Essential Scene: A cameo from Annie Potts in which she makes some sneering remarks about her younger, prettier replacement.
Slimer as...Slimer!
Why He’s Perfect: If they don’t bring Slimer back for round three we’ll be gravely disappointed. Perhaps Akroyd could give the chaps over at Pixar a call to give the green fellow a bit of a spruce-up? In our view, he’s as indispensable as Bill Murray!
Essential Scene: The final scene of the first movie. We always feel a bit sorry for Slimer when he gets caught, so it’s a reel feelgood rush to see him on the loose again!
