Do I Love You? review

What is it about these kind of handmade, lovingly crafted, I'm-on-a-personal-journey films that churn our collective stomachs? Is it the teeth-grinding dialogue, the amateur-night acting, the shaky camerawork and dodgy sound? Or is it the lack of meaningful plot/storyline/anything at all that really gets our sphincters twitching?

Marina (played by writer/director Lisa Gornick) thinks her relationship with girlfriend Romy (Raquel Cassidy) has gone cold. So she cheers herself up by musing on her clitoris, femininity, and womanhood, embroiling various ex-lovers in her death-dull self-exploration along the way.

Riding round London on her bike like a denim-togged Wicked Witch, Gornick manages to convey absolutely nothing of the dilemmas and difficulties of lesbianism in the noughties. Do I Love You? was the darling of various gay film festivals in 2003. After spending 73 minutes trying to keep your eyeballs in, you'll be wondering why.

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