Bond Vs Bourne

From Goldfinger’s Aston Martin DB5 to the submersible Lotus Esprit from The Spy Who Loved Me , Bond is the clear winner in this department.

Hell, even that invisible car from Die Another Day looks better than that crappy Italian Job Mini Bourne races around Paris in on Identity or Supremacy’s beaten-up Moscow cab.

James has had his off-days, of course – the Citroen from For Your Eyes Only comes to mind – while he has recently shown a regrettable penchant for Beamers.

But at least he tries to avoid other drivers, as opposed to recklessly crashing into them every opportunity he gets.

Bond wins.

Again James comes out on top here, even if we will have to dock him a few points for Roger Moore’s safari suits.

No one looks better in a tux than Her Majesty’s super spy, or a pair of swimming trunks for that matter.

Throw in some kick-ass accessories – an Omega wristwatch here, some Dupont cufflinks there – and you have a man who goes about his business looking, well, the business.

In comparison, what does Jason wear? Boring roll-neck sweaters, grey T-shirts and a long black coat that he rarely takes off.

Come on, man, put in a little effort!

Bond wins.

Given Bond’s 40-year advantage on his younger rival it’s hardly surprising he trumps him here as well.

Even on a film by film basis, though, Jason Bourne’s booty count is woeful, his conquests numbering just two (the doomed Marie and the put-upon Nicki - there's no time for any funny business in T he Bourne Legacy ) in his four outings to date.

James, by contrast, could race through that number before breakfast, even in those dour Timothy Dalton years.

That said, it took Daniel Craig an absolute age to get his rocks off in Casino Royale , having unforgivably walked out on Caterina Murino before doing his duty.

Could Jason’s sexual timidity be catching?

Bond wins.

At last an area where Bourne has the upper hand.

Though Daniel Craig has restored a bit of action hero credibility to the franchise, 007’s always been something of a wuss when it comes to fisticuffs, regularly getting his arse kicked by the likes of Jaws, Tee Hee, Necros and Oddjob. (In Diamonds are Forever he even had his clock cleaned by the opposite sex.)

Jason, however, gives as good as he gets, mixing it up nice with his fast and furious combination of martial arts and Krav Maga and his remarkable knack for turning everyday objects into deadly weapons.

Bourne wins.

A bit of a tie, this. Bourne is fluent in a number of foreign languages, can strip a gun in less than a second and can shoot a bird out of the sky with his eyes closed; if need be he can also climb down the outside of a building and cut your hair.

If you wanted someone to romance a defecting Russian agent or win at baccarat, however, chances are it’d be Bond that you’d call.

Not only that, but his knowledge of wine, diamonds, gold and golf means he’d probably be the most handy in a pub quiz.

Score draw.

With the combined staff of Q Branch behind him, Bond wins this one at a canter.

It’s fair to say, though, that his gadgets tend to be of the gimmickry variety – the dart gun in Moonraker, for example, or the jet pack he uses in Thunderball. (How often would a crocodile submarine or a rocket-firing boom-box actually come in handy?)

Bourne, in contrast, only makes use of actual technology available to him in the field – mobile phones, walkie talkies and internet search engines.

Note, too, that 007 needs a stiletto-concealing briefcase to do what Bourne can do with a biro.

Bond wins.

A well-travelled bon viveur with a love of vodka martinis, beautiful women and (until recently) strong cigarettes, Bond is the ultimate epicure.

Rarely does a film by without some hedonistic example of fine dining and lofty living; in Die Another Day Brosnan was even seen puffing on a Cuban cigar.

Bourne, in contrast, has no vices to speak of beyond a tendency to wallow in self-pity and a love for adrenalin-inducing situations.

Hell, he doesn’t even smoke a hookah pipe when he’s in Tangiers.

Bond wins.

When it comes to sticking to the set text, Bond has been making significant changes since Dr No.

Tomorrow Never Dies is probably the least faithful 007 flick, mainly because it doesn't contain a single reference to any Ian Fleming novel (outside of characters, obviously). It also happens to be one of the worst.

The Bourne Legacy deviates most from the template set by its forebears, mainly because it doesn't feature the title character (oral references and pictures on laptops don't count).

It features a completely different plot to the book on which it's based, which wasn't even written by original author.

So, it's a tough one. Bond has been going for longer, and has made changes in every single adaptation.

Bourne may be only four films in, and whilst the first three were fairly faithful, we're going to have to call this one in Bond's favor.

Mainly because he's still in his own films, and has yet to be replaced by his mate Jez.

Bond wins.

Obviously Bond is an old hand at changing leading men, so it would probably be unfair to make that aspect part of this incredibly serious and scientific judgement process.

So, we're going to directly compare the current headliners of the Bond / Bourne franchises instead.

Which means it's Daniel Craig Vs. Jeremy Renner: FIGHT .

This does slightly complicate things, as technically what we're doing here is Bond Vs. Cross, but that's not quite as catchy.

It's probably the same reason they didn't retitle the franchise The Cross Legacy . Either that or the studio was worried people would think it was an Anger Management sequel.

But we're starting to bang on more than a Bond villain. Let's get back on track.

Daniel Craig is arguably the best Bond of all time. But don't take our word for it, here's what Roger Moore had to say.

“I think he’s going to end up being the best Bond. What an actor!”

Meanwhile, Matt Damon hasn't specifically commented on Jeremy Renner, but Renner's said the following about Damon…

“I feel like he’s taking a break, and I’m doing something that is a little side-track.”

“I had a brief conversation with him, and told him I was crazy about the idea of working with him in some way, whether it was within this series or something else.

“I don’t know if we’ll be able to do something like that. We could be adversaries or something, but that’s not my decision to have.”

Damon spoke recently on the subject, and it appears he's turned down Renner's advances.

"I've always been open to it as long as Paul Greengrass directs, I don't think he's going to do it," the actor explained. "From what I understand, [' The Bourne Legacy '] relives [' The Bourne Ultimatum '] from a different perspective.

Because they use [' Ultimatum '] actors and characters, [that means] that whatever they said is true and we'd have to acknowledge it in any Bourne movie that we'd do. And that makes it really tough."

We thought Renner was perfectly capable in Legacy. But he didn't exactly blow the world away, as Craig did in Casino Royale .

We'll have to wait and see if the next installment of the Bourne franchise establishes Aaron Cross as an icon in his own right.

Bond win.

Gilroy has been involved in the Bourne franchise since the beginning, and is a passionate advocate of the concept.

He insisted that the original trilogy was referenced in his reboot, hoping to enhance what he'd previously worked on, rather than move on from it.

Sam Mendes is new to the Bond films, but he's just as passionate; Skyfall is full of nods to Bond's past.

Both men are Oscar nominated (Best Director for both; Gilroy for Michael Clayton and Mendes for American Beauty ) but only Mendes actually won.

Gilroy and Mendes are both very clever men with gray hair.

We're going to have to call this one a draw.

Score draw.

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So, the final scores...

Bond: 9 points.

Bourne: 3 points.

JAMES BOND WINS!

Well, it is Bond fortnight, after all...