12 animals that won't star in games revealed at E3

Gone to the dogs

The Call of Duty Dog phenomenon born from the Xbox One reveal event is a beautiful thing. We can always get behind a canine cause, especially when the pooch is part of our beloved video game world. However, the animal kingdom is a vast place, and not every creature that walks the Earth can feature in a big time video game.

Goats

Why they won't: Goats aren't exactly the most interesting animals in the world. Most of the time they're standing around chewing cud and staring at each other. Who wants to play that? Plus, goats had their chance in the spotlight in the Medal of Honor reboot, and they blew it.

Sloths

Why they won't: As much as the internet loves the sloth, they're slow, dim-witted creatures that sit in trees all day. They make funny faces, but other than that their entertainment value is zero.

Meerkats

Why they won't: Meerkats and prairie dogs go hand-in-hand; they both primarily stay underground, poking their heads out every once in a while for food or to scout for danger. Do you think there's a market for a Sim-Ant style meerkat game? We sure don't.

Man-o-war Jellyfish

Why they won't: This one is confident that the jellyfish-like Hanar from Mass Effect are the closest thing we'll ever see to a jellyfish character in a video game. This one founds that belief on the fact that jellyfish are literally just blobs of goo with stingy tentacles. This one is tired.

Sea Otters

Why they won't: Cute as they are, sea otters don't lend themselves well to video games. They're either swimming around or laying on their backs eating. Unless it was some kind of "smash the crap out of a clam with the otter's tail" minigame... which might be fun, actually.

Duck-billed Platypi

Why they won't: Seriously, how the hell would a platypus feature in a video game other than being a Goomba-like character that walks around waiting to get jumped on?

Capybara

Why they won't: They're the world's largest rodent. Most people don't like small field mice, so the idea of a mouse-like creature the size of a small dog wouldn't go over so well. Although the guinea pig owners among us might feel right at home.

Okapi

Why they won't: Just like many reading this are wondering what the hell an okapi is, the creatues itself isn't really sure. Zebra? Steer? Gazelle? The utter confusion makes it hard to place an Okapi in any particular setting, aside from an Afrika or Tokyo Jungle sequel.

Aardvark

Why they won't: Aardvarks seemed to be overshadowed by the anteater, and rightfully so. Anteaters have that cool long snout, while aardvarks are stuck with that gross pig nose. Even the one video game starting an aardvark, the Commodore 64 classic Aardvark, was adapted from the arcade game Anteater with the same premise. Anteaters are just better.

Blue-footed Boobies

Why they won't: We can't help but giggle like 4th-graders whenever we hear the name of this bird, so we can only assume that seeing the first ever video game starring a blue footed booby would stir up some immature laughter across the board. There are plenty of other birds to choose from that won't cause such immaturity, so ol' Blue here will always be left out.

Bandicoots

Why they won't: This little guy used to be on the top of the digital animal kingdom; what the heck happened? Crash hasn't been seen in years, overshadowed by the huge success of his buddy Spyro in Skylanders, so what's next for the former face of PlayStation?

Seaman

Why he won't: Seaman already had his chance, but he was too busy being insulting and creeping everyone out in his tank. Asking irrelevant questions like "when is your birthday?" and making sure we stay just friends...like we would ever consider a relationship with a sarcastic man-fish...

No animal kingdom here

An extensive search led to us finding these twelve beasts, but we're sure we left some out. Let us know in the comments which animal you'd never expect to find at this year's E3.