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6 miserably disappointed gamers on Christmas Day

Sometimes though, it goes absolutely tits up, the gamer in question ends up miserable, and it all ends up on video on YouTube. These are those times.

PhoneStation 3

In which a couple of parents make the mistake of not checking the console inside the box before letting their son unwrap it on Christmas Day. My mum and dad always checked out that my Christmas gaming kit worked. But that was partly because they got hooked on 'testing' Mario World when they got me a SNES in 1992.

ThisDreamcast is less powerful than we thought

In which a couple of parents do similar, but at least the scammer has a sense of humour about it this time.

Where's my Game Boy?

In which a parent plays favourites on Christmas Day, and films it all to make sure that her son never forgets that he's second best. Maybe he was a cocky little bleeder as a kid. Either way, he probably can't look at his own face in the mirror now. Remember, the greatest gift a person can give at Christmas is massively degraded self-esteem.

Psychological child abuse, part 1

In which careless imparting of childhood trauma gives way to all-out, calculated head-f*ckery. I'm not sure which is worse though, the scheme itself (Hey, here's a radical idea, why not just let your kids enjoy Christmas Day?) or the savagely bratty way the kids react. It's like Christmas at the Texas Chainsaw Massacre house.

Psychological child abuse, part 2

In which parents dick with their kids' Christmas hopes and dreams again, but at least there's a bit of backstory and comedic context to this one. Although it might be a bit tenuous. I'm not sure if that makes this better or worse.

One day your son will murder you

In which a family makes a small child cry, then takes the piss out of him for getting upset. On camera. And then leaves the room so that he can cry alone. The kid apparently got his Xbox 360 later on, but does that make up for comments like "Look at the camera and cry"? No, this boy's faith in human nature and trust in those closest to him is now shattered forever, and he will grow up to be a killer.

But hey, it's all alright!

Because sometimes things like this happen. In fact most of the time, things like this happen. Merry Christmas.

Dec. 23rd, 2010

Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.