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The Rock's head on Pokemon is pure nightmare fuel

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
(Image credit: Warner Bros.)

What if Pokemon had the face of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson? 

The inscrutable mind behind the Mypokeprints Instagram account recently asked and, unfortunately, answered this question, with results as nightmarish as you'd expect. We can't bear the burden of this knowledge alone. 

It's hard to pick the most terrifying creature among these, the most literal Rock-type Pokemon of all time. Rockmander is arguably the least disturbing since its head and neck have roughly the same silhouette as usual. And while we've taken psychic damage from the mere sight of Rockchu, years of parody cartoons and fan art depicting the iconic electric rat as some Hulked-out beefcake has desensitized us to things like this.

On reflection, it's got to be the Rockvee. Is this what we get after asking for a Rock-type Eeveelution for all those years – the work of some twisted monkey's paw? That's about the only explanation we can come up with for this crime against humanity – and Pokemon, for that matter.

The worst (best) part is that these are all complete 3D blueprints ready to be printed via Thingiverse, a hub for all things digitally modeled. There's even a bonus model for a Rock-Geodude. It's possible – likely, even, given the state of this timeline – that they're being printed as we speak. Somewhere there are printing hobbyists conjuring horrors best unseen from spun plastic. May future historians make sense of the domino effect that started with a young Dwayne Johnson finding fame and led to… this, because we cannot. 

Here's a much less scarring 3D print: the entire GTA5 map rendered in stunning, tangible detail

Austin Wood

Austin freelanced for the likes of PC Gamer, Eurogamer, IGN, Sports Illustrated, and more while finishing his journalism degree, and he's been with GamesRadar+ since 2019. They've yet to realize that his position as a staff writer is just a cover up for his career-spanning Destiny column, and he's kept the ruse going with a focus on news and the occasional feature.