Pandorum review

In space, no-one can hear you snore

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Publicity has kept us in the dark about Pandorum’s monsters, so what’s it got? Tricks up the sleeve or stuff to hide? Sadly, the logic behind the secrecy relating to Christian Alvart’s sci-fi horror (following his promising Antibodies and tellingly delayed Case 39) looks like damage limitation. Pandorum’s mutants mirror the movie’s misfires: as these foragers and cannibals lurk in darkness before attacking in blurs of ill-defined noise and motion, so the film lingers in the murk for ages only to emerge as a noisy mish-mash of ideas ripped randomly from the guts of better films.

The opening sees astronauts Payton (Dennis Quaid) and Bower (Ben Foster) waking from hyper-sleep with amnesia and stumbling about in the dark of a rickety spaceship. Where are we? Who are they? Is it bedtime? Far from being crepuscular or creepy, the hook-starved effect of this is enervating because, nifty laser-shave implement aside, there’s nothing of interest to latch on to. Only 10 minutes in, hyper-snooze is already taking hold.

Freelance writer

Kevin Harley is a freelance journalist with bylines at Total Film, Radio Times, The List, and others, specializing in film and music coverage. He can most commonly be found writing movie reviews and previews at GamesRadar+.