The only (fake) games your collection would ever need
Got a lot of games?
There are SO MANY GAMES around, it would be impossible to play them all. So we were having a conversation in the office the other day about just having one game for each genre. I mean, why have Assassin's Creed, Assassin's Creed II, III, IV: Black Flag, Pirates, Liberation, Brotherhood, Bloodlines, Recollection, Altair's Chronicles and Revelations when you could just buy 'Man Stabber' and have done with it? Exactly.
And so I made this feature. A single collection of 9 must-have games that should sate the desires of any gamer. Take a look. I think you'll agree the results are startlingly awesome...
Man Shooter: Gun Edition
Man Shooter is a game about a time-travelling soldier of the near-future who happens across an inter-dimensional rift. His discovery leads to a flood of alien invaders coming through into Earth at various points in its history.
So your job is to shoot both men (and sometimes aliens) as they throw themselves into your crosshairs like there's no tomorrow. Pick up and use guns from every period of human history, as well as guns made with advanced, alien technology. So basically all the guns, every timeframe, and every imaginable kind of man. To shoot. Bang.
Ultrahero
Like superheroes? Well, as from right now, they're completely obsolete. Ultrahero combines all of their best abilities to create the ultimate superhero video game. Swing through Manhattan skyscrapers like Spider-Man, see through the terrain like Superman can with his X-Ray Vision and chuck cars around like The Incredible Hulk. Anything you want to do can be done in Ultrahero.
Buy the special edition and receive a free download code that allows you to download a snazzy new pair of Y-fronts for Ultrahero to wear outside of his clothes. Yes, even snazzier than those on the front cover. Unimaginable? What nonsense. You're clearly not grasping quite how unbelievably ace Ultrahero is.
Ball Kicker: International Tournament Heroes
Ball Kicker is a multiplayer competitive sports game. Its stats and rosters are updated in real-time via online connectivity, meaning you need never buy another yearly iteration of the game again. Even gameplay mechanics can be patched in real-time by the developers, allowing for exploits to be removed from the game over time, making this a perfect reproduction of ball kicking by 2015. Anything after that is just extra shine.
Sure, there might be occasional petitions for Ball Hitter, Ball Bouncer and Ball Carrier, but let's face it--they don't offer any gratification a good game of Ball Kicker can't deliver.
Quest Taker
There's a new quest waiting for you at the guild, Quest Taker! In fact, there are loads of quests waiting for you at the guild. By the time you've completed them, you'll be so old you won't be able to remember them all, meaning you can go back through them all again like they're new. Perfect.
With fully customisable gear, thousands of unique weapons and online/offline modes of play, Quest Taker is the adventure of your lifetime. Literally.
Car Driver
Car Driver is a car racing game that features unlicensed versions of all major forms of motorsport, plus arcade variants of each. If you purchase licenses via DLC, you can download up-to-date car, team and track updates for your chosen discipline, or just buy a season pass to keep your game fully updated.
With online racing and damage modelling that ranges from sliced-in-half destruction for non-licensed cars to mere scuffing for the most difficult-to-please license holders, there's something here for everyone to enjoy. And yes, there's motorbike DLC if you want it. In fact, there's motorbike DLC for all of the games in this article.
Sneaker
Love stealth? Love stealing things while remaining undetected, stabbing things while undetected or just getting into places undetected? Then this is the game for you. With literally millions of shadows to hide in, thousands of mans to kill silently and a veritable banquet of weapons to procure on-site, the action will never get dull.
You can also select from a variety of assists, ranging from a radio through which you can somehow talk to people with your regular voice while still remaining undetected (while listening to Chinese proverbs) through to some kind of animal ability that makes you stronger and lets you see through walls. GamesRadar called it 'The thinking man's Man Shooter'. And that's patently the truth.
Man Puncher
The fighting game to end all fighting games. It's got energy bars. It's got combos. It's got advanced cancels, guards and guard cancels. Specials, supers, ultras, super-ultras, fatalities, babalities, nipple-alities (you don't want to know what happens with that one, but suffice to say it looks pretty painful), this game has got it all.
One thing's for sure: You'll be punching an awful lot of men in the face with Man Puncher.
Tetris
Oh ho! Is funny because is really a game! Oh ho-ho-ho! Well, look. You could ask for a compendium of every board game, party game and match-3 block puzzler. But basically, all you need is Tetris to satisfy your puzzle gaming needs. Just Tetris.
Online multiplayer, local high scores... Of course the various rockets that take off when you reach certain scores are rendered in this PlayBox U version with incredible particle effects, voxel-based terrain deformation and 1080p visuals. But the game itself is just Tetris. No other modes. In fact, this version doesn't even have Game Type B. I mean, I'll play Game Type B... but I'll be thinking of Game Type A.
Bird Thrower
Sometimes, for lack of better judgement, you might want to pass up all of these wonderful games and instead plough a senseless number of hours into something trivial. Well, this is the perfect game for that: Bird Thrower.
While it works just fine on PlayBox U, it's the mobile phone and tablet versions that you'll find yourself spending the most time on. With timeless gameplay that sees you violently throwing defenseless birds into things in an effort to kill some livestock, this is 3+ fun for all the family.
Does the collection need one more?
I think that covers all of the bases you could really need for a fantastic game collection. In fact, looking back over the covers in this gallery, I would happily buy any of them. Imagine if they existed--I bet they'd sell UltraHero pants in Debenhams. Anyway, if you think there's one more game the collection needs, explain it in the comments. You know what to do.
And if you're looking for more, check out Real-world news turned into video games and Video game box art interpreted by children.
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