Nothing could parody 300 as effectively as 300 parodies itself and the creative genii behind the Scary, Epic and Date Movie franchises were never likely to make Meet The Spartans anything other than awful. What’s remarkable is just how awful it is. There isn’t enough alcohol in the world to make it watchable. Simply a series of broad skits stitched together with the dumbest bits of 300 (that big black pit in the middle of town gets a lot of use), this is only of interest to car-crash cinema enthusiasts and anyone who ever wondered what ex-EastEnder Sean Maguire does these days. If you are forced to attend, we give you to the two-minute mark before bolting, just after a jive-talking penguin from Surf’s Up empties his bowels on King Leonidas’ head. Shit, indeed.