Lost to antiquity: Games that have aged badly

Perfect Dark Zero (Xbox 360)
We did consider putting GoldenEye in this feature, but we have to say it’s actually still much more coherent than many modern shooters, so, despite the now unacceptable framerate (esp in multiplayer), we’ll go with its spiritual successor’s successor Perfect Dark Zero on Xbox 360 instead.

It may be an easy target as it was a launch title (and it wasn’t particularly brilliant even then), but it’s dropping way below the standard of modern titles at an alarming rate.

We’re so glad the plastic faces of this game didn’t become a permanent feature of this generation. There’s detail in them, yes, but when you’re looking at a human shape with a mask instead of a face, detail isn’t enough to convince. And as for that hovercraft stage… well, suffice to say it was bad enough for one member of the GR team to stop playing the game right there.

Above: Should we use the last few polygons on her arms or her boobs? Boobs.

The House of the Dead 2 (Dreamcast)
“I don’t wanna die…”
*dies*
“My God.”
We were about to say ‘My God’ too – but only because that was the worst acting we’ve ever seen.

It’s sad to see games like HotD2 showing their age. We can remember when the screenshot below appeared on the net, back when CVG was still game-online.com (anyone remember that?) and the Dreamcast shooter looked utterly fantastic. Too good to be true, even. But look at it now.

Above: Game-Online and HotD2... in 1998. Makes us feel so old

Fortunately, it still plays decently, as the new Wii version shows. But it’s still sad to see something that was once so special dissolve into a green pool of bubbling slime and fade away.