Writer/director Vicky Jewson was reportedly just 21 when she penned this debut outing. It’s a mitigating circumstance, but sadly not enough to excuse such a giant, steaming turd of a Brit flick. Jemima Honey (Holby City’s Phoebe Thomas) is a modern-day Lady Godiva in search of the funds to re-open local creative centre The Art Factory. Romance with playboy equestrian Michael Bartle (Matthew Chambers) gives her a leg-up and then, of course, there’s the matter of a bareback horse ride through Oxford town centre. That the film’s big romantic climax is set to Enrique Iglesias’ ‘Hero’ should say it all, but even the corny crooner’s most dedicated fans will object to the clunky direction and hokey script. The actors look constantly mortified, and so they should. Avoid like you would a naked nutter bouncing down the street.