Nothing.
That's what this game on Steam asks you to do, seemingly for eternity. "Just do Nothing as the timer goes up. If you do Something, you lose," is its very simply, and yet somehow existentially horrifying, premise.
"If you don't like doing Nothing, go play Something instead," it suggests, as if that's such an easy thing. What is Something, here inexplicably stylized with a capitalized 'S'? Well, apparently it's an upcoming game from the same developer, in which you "Keep doing Something as the timer goes up. If you do Nothing, you lose."
But for now, all we have is Nothing, and I've played 540 seconds if it and counting. I continue to watch the ticking timer tick by... tick, tick, tick. Mocking me, challenging me to do Nothing for another second. I comply, because Nothing intrigues me. No, it fascinates me. Forget 'what is Something?' We all know what Something is. Nothing is far more interesting. It's what lies outside the realm of the knowable, it's what was there before there was anything at all, it's the unthinkable void that preceded us and awaits us all.
Snap out of it, Jordan. It's just a game. A free game on Steam you downloaded as part of your job as a video game journalist. You have a purpose. You're not Nothing. You're... Something. "If you don't like doing Nothing, go play Something instead." And I shall. I think I'll play some Final Fantasy 16 or something.
Anyway, yes, there is a free game on Steam called Nothing. From what I experienced, it doesn't lie. It was developed in Unity, there's a gray screen prompting you to press a button to begin the Nothingness, and then it's just a timer which, if interrupted, stops and tells you "you did something" and lost. I have no idea how long the timer lasts before and if anything else ever happens, and I don't have the mental fortitude to find out. But you can!
In fact, its reviews suggest you should! "Prepare to embark on an epic journey of minimalism and mindfulness with 'Nothing,' the groundbreaking game that challenges the very fabric of gaming itself," reads one of a vast majority of positive reviews.
"Unlike a lot of other games this game absolutely held up to my expectations," reads another. "Great game and features all the things I do in RL. Honestly game of the year."
"Greatest game I've ever played. Allowed me to go touch grass and ♥♥♥♥. Amazing time," says yet another satisfied player.
While my experience obviously differed from the majority, you might have a great time playing Nothing! Oh, and don't thank me. It's Nothing.
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