After 13 years, I finally played the Dragon Age Origins DLC I always avoided and what it made me do is unforgivable

I'm playing through what is technically the final fight in Dragon Age: Origins, but I've never experienced it like this before. It's like I've stepped into a horrifying parallel universe where my Warden never existed, and I'm actively helping the Archdemon win. Nothing else matters in this world but death and destruction. So much innocent blood is on my hands. Maker's breath, I'm in a waking nightmare, and worse still, it's entirely my doing. For almost 14 years, I've been avoiding the Darkspawn Chronicles DLC that came to BioWare's RPG in 2010. As someone who adored Origins for its storytelling, characters, and romance, nothing about the villainous expansion appealed to me. I can still remember finding out what it would actually require me to do, and I promptly recoiled at the idea and shelved it for over a decade. 

But as a huge fan of the series, it's one omission that's always been at the back of my mind. So, in the lead up to Dragon Age: The Veilguard, I found myself putting my apprehensions to one side at long last, and now I'm in the thick of it. And sweet blood of Andraste, the things this DLC has me doing is wracking me with guilt. It's a true horror show. 

En-thrall-ing 

Describing the Dragon Age: Origins Darkspawn DLC as a parallel universe is actually a pretty apt way of describing it. In this scenario the Warden never survived the Joining, and you instead take on the role of a darkspawn Hurlock Vanguard who answers to the call of the Archdemon as its champion. In lieu of companions, you can make other Darkspawn - such as Ogres, Blight wolves, and Genlocks - your thralls to fight at your side. Taking place in the city of Denerim where the closing fight in the base game unfolds, it essentially sees you go through different parts of the city, killing and destroying anything in your wake to secure the Darkspawn's victory. 

With the big bad dragon Archdemon giving orders and influencing me every step of the way, it's like I'm going from one horrendous act to the next. From the off, I'm attacking city guards who fought alongside me as the Grey Warden, and it already feels so wrong. But it only gets worse and worse from there. In the city center, I come across two Chantry sisters who I'd spoken to so many times before for additional side quests, only now I'm cutting the poor defenseless souls down. I hear the approving garbled hum of the Archdemon's voice, who tells me to rid the city of the weak, and an extra quest gets added to my log to "Slaughter the Innocents". 

Anytime I do kill any innocent bystanders, a number out of 10 appears above my head, like some kind of sick murderous checklist. If it wasn't bad enough that I'm killing random residents willy-nilly, I even come face-to-face with some unarmed named NPCs I've gotten to know in the main story, like Alistair's sister Goldana. She cowers as I approach, and the moment she falls dead to the ground by my blade, the guilt seeps into my bones. My mind immediately thinks about how Alistair will feel when he finds out… even if they do have a rocky relationship, this is his only sister. Remorse washes over me, but I've taken things too far. There's no turning back. If I'm going to finish this DLC to its miserable end, I have to persevere. 

A killing blow  

Unfortunately for me, it's not long before I encounter more named NPCs I have to take out of the picture. Then, as if I wasn't already dismayed enough, the first of the Warden's beloved companions enters the fight. Am I actually attacking Ogren right now? The cantankerous dwarf party member with a penchant for booze I've helped many, many times before? Say it isn't so. Alas, to my great horror, I'm going to have to fight and kill each and every companion I've come to care for so much. From taking out my favorite assassin Zevran with my sword after burning down the Alienage, to killing dear Wynne as she tries to block my approach, I'm truly in the worst timeline imaginable. 

Once I've made my way through Denerim, I eventually find myself heading towards the location that sets the stage for the final battle. This time I'm on the side of Archdemon and my worst fear is realized. I'm given orders to pursue and get rid of the Grey Warden to secure victory. Yes, I have to fight Alistair. My beloved Alistair. I have always known this was coming. In fact, this is very the reason I never played the DLC. Why on earth would I want to massacre my entire party in the name of the Darkspawn? Yet, here I am, doing exactly that, and I can't stomach the final harrowing scene when I defeat the adorable rose-giving warden I always worked so hard to keep alive. 

Alistair, bloody and beaten, looks around him as Morrigan, Leliana and my poor Mabari lie dead. Finally, he falls. Despite the fact that I've technically won, this doesn't feel anything remotely like a victory. The expansion definitely does a great job at making you feel terrible. It's kind of a novel idea to put you in the role of the enemy and have you murder all of the characters the RPG made you fall in love with. I can't say this DLC was my cup of tea, but it did finally put my curiosity about this decade-long omission to rest. If nothing else, I find comfort in the idea that this is just a passing nightmare my Warden is having… and it's one I can wake up from and put behind me. 

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