Eleven Classic Jack Thompson Face-palms

So while we’ve been loath to give himany publicity on Radar before, now that we’re close to losing him we’ve decided to pay tribute to his long career of car crash comedy. Over the next few pages you’ll find Jack Thompson’s Archives of Fail; our collation of his greatest mess-ups and the eventswhich have led him to this potentially career-ending conclusion.

Face-palm #1: Jackbecomes obsessed with proving an opponent's lesbianism(1988)

During his campaign for election to the post of Dade County district attorney, Jack began a long-running obsession with exposing what he saw as the secret sexuality of his opponent, Janet Reno. At one point,he presented her with a formwhich read "I, Janet Reno, am a 1) Homosexual; 2) Bisexual; 3) Heterosexual." and demanded that she tick one of the options.

To his disappointment, Reno responded by putting her hands on his shoulders and telling him "I'm only interested in virile men. That’s why I'm not attracted to you." In reaction, Jack took the only mature course of action available to him and filed assault charges against Reno for touching him. The charges were however, thrown out. Janet Reno went on to become the US Attorney General, wheras Jack Thompson is now close to being disbarred. Karma is a harsh mistrsss indeed.

Face-palm #2: Jack thinks he is Batman (1990)

When his request to investigate whether 2 Live Crew’s album Nasty As They Wanna Be broke Florida obscenity laws was disregarded, Thompson started a personal campaign in order to persuade local officials and store owners to block sales of the album.

The publicity materials he sent out to promote this campaign often included a photocopy of his driving license with Batman’s picture stuck over his own to emphasise his position as a tireless defender of all that is good and true.

Oh, as you so rightly say, dear.

Face-palm #3: Jack tries to pin three murders on GTA, but loses his license to practice lawinstead (2005)

Following the murder in Alabama of two cops and a police dispatcher by 18-year old gamer Devin Moore, Jack tried to paint the whole case an unattractive shade of GTA. Although not involved in the prosecution, he filed a suit against Take-Two, Sony, Wal-Mart and GameStop on behalf of the victims’ families.

However, followingallegationsthat he harrassed them by e-mail and violated legal ethics by making press appearances regarding the case – not that he’s ever been known to court the media at all - Take-Two’s legal team requested that Jack’s license to practice law in the state be removed. The judgeconcurredand Jack found himself booted off the case.

He then followed up by going into fevered conspiracy theory mode, hitting the judge and his legal opposition with a tirade ofabuse and accusations of corruption. The judge’s subsequent formal complaints have been upheld by the Florida bar and added to the misconduct charges currently threatening to pwn Jack out of a legal career.

David Houghton
Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.