Command & Conquer Red Alert 3: Uprising review

Gives you lovely toys, then won’t let you play with them

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The second reason that Uprising makes us thrash like a petulant schoolboy is that we still love Red Alert. You don’t curse if you don’t care, and we cursed prolifically. We want our Mecha Tengus to follow our VX Choppers properly when we set them all a target because, and we don’t say this often enough, we freaking love Mecha Tengus. We love the new units too: the Soviet Mortar Bikes are swift, flexible and fun, the Empire’s Giga Fortress is a floating head of hilariously fatal deathbeams, and the jetpacking Allied Cryo-Legionnaires talk like a Schwarzeneggian Mr. Freeze.

The file that runs when you start Uprising is ‘ra3ep1.exe’, which suggests Electronic Arts LA are planning more. If so, we hope they accept that their interface and AI simply aren’t good enough to let the player’s success hinge on a handful of units. And we hope they create something that lets us flex our tactical creativity a little more than this.

Apr 1, 2009

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GenreStrategy
DescriptionThis expansion/follow-up to Red Alert 3 ups the insanity with parachuting bears, deadly cute Japanese girls, and 14-time world champion Ric Flair.
Franchise nameCommand and Conquer
UK franchise nameCommand and Conquer
Platform"PC"
US censor rating"Teen"
UK censor rating""
Release date1 January 1970 (US), 1 January 1970 (UK)
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